Devin and Megan

Creature of Habit

2012-02-14T15:41:00.000-08:00

Beau is very predictable.

-When he sneezes, he always sneezes twice.

-When he drops his heartrate, he always drops his sats with it.....twice.

-When I take the socks off his hands for a few seconds to give them a break, it's a guarantee he'll scratch his face.

-But the most predictable thing about him is his feet---they are always sticking straight out! When he's hungry and I give him his binky, his hands immediately go to his chin and his feet go straight out. He's so stiff-legged that he usually rolls himself over because his body is no longer balanced, making his binky fall out. And we begin the process again! (Looking back through pictures, I'm thinking those feet have always had a mind of their own!)

Maybe this means he'll be a podiatrist some day like his dad??

We are enjoying our last few days in Utah before we head home to Phoenix. By the time we get home, I will have been away from Arizona for 8 weeks!! (So much for our 6 day trip for the holidays! I'm pretty sure my Christmas tree is still up.) As much as this situation was not ideal, we've truly enjoyed all the time spent with our families. We can't thank them enough for all they've done for us.....there really are no words. We will never be able to adequately recognize their sacrifices. One thing is for sure fam.....we will miss you all!! And Happy Valentine's Day from our little man!!

Sleepy Days

2012-02-10T11:15:00.000-08:00

Beau does a lot of sleeping these days. We've discovered he's a night owl---his awake time is 10:00 to midnight. (Definitely his daddy's son!) He obviously was having a party in the NICU on nightshift. Me? Not so much sleep on my end. But that's totally okay. He's worth it. Plus he really is adorable at 3:00am.....those eyes seem so much bigger in the dark!

Oh, how I love this little man, sleepy moments and all. He's such a good baby.....very content. He really only cries when he's hungry or has a tummy ache. Am I an awful mom for thinking he has an adorable cry? It's so cute (and heartbreaking)! He doesn't cry when he wants to be held, however.....he grunts! A lot!! I'm happy to hold you little man. Anything to snuggle you close and smell your furry head!

Our little peanut is growing before my eyes!! Notice his neck fat starting to rest on his shoulders---his pediatrician is very proud of him. (Brooklyn's same pediatrician actually....I trust anyone who has already cared for a preemie in my family.) Go little buddy!

I want to wish my mother-in-law a happy birthday yesterday. Since Beau was supposed to be a February baby, we were originally thinking it'd be neat if they shared a birthday. Maybe on the next baby Debbie! (I'm getting around to taking down the pregnancy countdown today, too. Weird to think he should still be inside me!)

Thanks again to my family and my in-laws for all their help and visits. And for entertaining Beau and I on the couch. We don't have cabin fever yet thanks to all of you!

To Dev......Beau and I miss and love you!!

Newborn Photos

2012-02-06T18:06:00.000-08:00

The hospital offers a newborn photoshoot service when you leave (cute idea!....I didn't know they did that). It's usually done in the well-baby nursery, but they come to the NICU as well. I didn't think much of it that day----I honestly didn't think they'd turn out, and I was focused more on getting him and all of his equipment safely home.

Since I'm posting them, I obviously bought the entire CD. (So much for doubting the quality! Proud mom here!!) These were shot right after Beau's bath.....so nothing was attached to his face (can't wait until he's permanently off oxygen!). I'm thinking our little man's eyes may actually be blue!

Devin's visit this weekend was his last until we take Beau home to Arizona. (We will be heading home over President's Day weekend. Devin gets a long weekend, and we're hoping to break up the drive. Beau has to be out of his carseat every 2 hours......that will make for a very long drive home if we do it all in one day.)

We kind of felt like a real little family for a few days! Nice to have the extra help on those all-night feedings, too! (I do need to thank my mom, though.....she has stepped in and helped with feedings while Devin is gone. Thanks SO much mom!!) With permission from Beau's nurses, we went for a visit to the Blands. And Beau still loves the sound of Devin's voice.....he never does this with me!

Reporting from Home!

2012-02-03T16:41:00.005-08:00

We are home!! There is a newborn in the house!!

Discharge day went great. After a bath, newborn photos, lots of discharge teaching, and one last attempt to get Kelsey to come home with us (the offer still stands Kelsey!), we were on our way. Thank you to my Mom and Debbie for helping! My mom drove while I sat in the back staring at the tiny little thing in the carseat next to me.

(Yes, I'm on the phone with Devin.) First few days at home? Great. It is so fun having him home!! I get so excited to see him...and he's right next to me!! We're still getting a routine down, though............I may never know the meaning of sleep or organization again! (I didn't brush my teeth until 4:00pm that first day.)

Our first night was eventful thanks in large part to his monitor not working. (The probe is too big for his foot, so it wouldn't read correctly, if at all.) I finally sent my dad to get Ash and Roger's monitor at midnight. There was no way I was going to bed without a functioning monitor after I'd already yanked my white baby out of his crib multiple time to make him breathe. (His reflux was so bad that night for some reason!) I think I got less than 2 hours of sleep....finally put him on my chest to sleep for an hour or two (better not make that a habit! He loves to be held though, and I can't resist!). Night number two went much better.

After discovering Beau's love for the couch (not one brady/desat episode when he's laying on it....probably because it's on an angle), we are now both sleeping on the couch. (Sorry to make a bedroom and nursery out of your family room mom!) It was way too much effort to keep him and all that equipment in my old room, and he doesn't tolerate his crib. Beau's side is completely blocked in by the ottoman in case he rolls. My mom and dad have been so helpful considering I've hardly left the couch......I'm completely dependent on them because Beau is quarantined for a while. Thank you both for all the help!

We are all so glad he's home. And really looking forward to Devin coming to visit tonight!!

Welcome home Beau.....we love you!!

Last night in the NICU

2012-01-30T23:00:00.000-08:00

I went to Babies R Us and Target today to get everything I needed to bring Beau home. (And I'm sure I still only have half of what I really need! New mom here!) It was the mad rush to buy the last minute stuff, put up his "crib" (a.k.a. pack-n-play), and wash his clothes and blankets (thanks Mom, Dad, and Ash for all the help!). My heart has been pounding all day....I'm bringing my baby home tomorrow!! I am so excited!!

Tonight we went up for our last hospital visits. After everyone left, I stayed late to kiss him goodnight. As I held Beau, mentally preparing for tomorrow, I couldn't help but think of how blessed we have been. So very, very blessed. Heaven and it's angels have been watching over us.

Blessings have come in so many forms.......family, friends, phone calls, text messages, emails, gifts, offers to donate sky miles, offers to give rides, dinners.......the list goes on and on. I completely underestimated the kindness and generosity of others. We have truly had multiple miracle come our way during all of this---I have no doubt that the Lord is aware of all our worries, no matter how big or small.

My heart is full of so many emotions. I am scared to death.....I am still a brand new mom. As Ashlee put it today, I'm "having a baby" tomorrow. I'm just bringing him home 5 weeks late. But, oh how excited I am!!! To have a newborn at home, to have something still so fresh from heaven. We love him so much!

So many little things that have become my daily routine are now changing. As crazy as this sounds, a part of me will miss the NICU. It is my comfort zone, my safe place. I will miss the familiar faces of the nurses, the clerks who beep me through the NICU entrance every day, and the parents who smile and say hi, yet I know they carry the same burden I do (most probably worse). Tonight marks the last night of scrubbing in, of cafeteria runs, and every 3 hour cares. It's the last time we'll spend hours sitting in a rocking chair staring at his monitor. It's the last time we'll tiptoe into his room to sit and watch him sleep. We won't be typing in a security code or beeping into the NICU anymore. It's the last time I'll walk out of the IMC Women's Center without my baby.

We can't thank IMC enough for saving his life. He may not have been ridiculously tiny (official "go-home" weight is now 6 lbs. 10 oz.!!), or so miserably sick like other preemies before him. But 37 days in the NICU warrants a job well done for Beau's medical team (Callie spent almost 6 months. Brooklyn spent 89 days. I'd say the record is getting better!). From the bottom of our hearts, thank you IMC for caring for our son. For loving him. Thank you to the nurses who made it so we slept well at night and could leave his bedside knowing he was well taken care of. (Kelsey and Jeanette.....we love you both!!) We know we were two very stressed out parents.

To our families....what would we do without you??? Truly, there are no words to express how much you've done for us.

Scott and Debbie: two of the best people I know. Beau is so lucky to have you as grandparents! You've taken this all in like it's the most natural thing in the world to have your first grandbaby in the NICU.

Eric and April: well-wishers from afar (St. George). Thanks for helping us home from the hospital when I discharged. And for kindly looking the other way when I had a breakdown, heartbroken that I was leaving my baby behind, worried I was abandoning him.Griffin and Kristin: his excited aunt and uncle.....thanks for always checking in, for always worrying about us. (Kristin, we never did get a picture of you holding him in the hospital. Sorry!)Whit: you say he's your "first love".....he loves you too!

Mom and Dad: the two people who did this first, who know everything we are going through 3 times over. Thank you for everything....there is simply nothing else to say.Davis and Whit: Beau is her little "stud". And Davis text messaged me probably 3 times a week to see if I needed anything and to ask how Beau was doing. (sorry I don't have a picture of you either Davis!)Callie: Beautiul Callie (who could guess she was the worst preemie of them all?)......excited to be the favorite aunt....Beau will be living with you the most out of his aunts and uncles!Ash, Roger, and Brooklyn: to the other couple who lead the way in the NICU....thank you. Ash, your tears holding Beau the first time said it all. I think I had matching ones the first time I held Brooklyn. And Brooklyn was my little visitor since she couldn't visit Beau.

To my husband....I wish so bad you could be here tomorrow. I love you so much. Beau loves you too. Hurry home! We're a little family now!!

(Christmas Eve......24 hours before this all began)

To Beau: we are so thankful heaven sent you to us. We are thrilled to be your parents. We love you!

Tomorrow is the day!!!!

Post-Baby Shower

2012-01-30T16:08:00.000-08:00

With Beau's discharge quickly approaching, my sisters threw me a fabulous baby shower this past Saturday. They completely out-did themselves. It was perfect timing, too....Beau is coming home a week earlier than predicted. (And thank you to those who also offered to throw me a shower....so many kind people!!)

The masterminds.....

The decorations....

The food......

Whitney's fabulous cake (that took her 7 hours to make!! And that I am now slowly eating myself....with a fork, no plate needed!)

It was so great to see all of my high school and nursing school friends again. (It's been a couple years since I've seen some of you!!...where does the time go? And sorry we didn't get a group shot). Thank you all for coming, for your suport, and for your generous gifts! (I'll be honest and admit we needed everything we got.....Devin can't bring everything we have sitting in Arizona despite his best efforts!) It's so nice to have such a great group of friends!! I love you all!!

Thanks again Ash and Whit!! Beau loves you!

The four letter word

2012-01-28T13:42:00.001-08:00

Deep breath........we are on the countdown to HOME!!!!!!!!!!

If Beau behaves until Monday---meaning no ABD spells requiring stimulation---we are bringing him home on Tuesday!

1. He has figured out how to eat---no more NG tube. His nose is so cute. It's Devin's nose.
2. He is consistently gaining weight---go big boy! (6 lbs. 4 oz.)
3. His head is stable---no more ultrasounds.
4. His belly button is better---got his first real bath!!!
5. His eyes exam was good---fully vascularized. No more risk for damage. Love those big eyes!! Thinking they might be brown??
6. His breathing is getting there. He will be coming home on oxygen and a monitor where we will attempt to wean him ourselves. He's on the smallest amount of oxygen he can get (0.03L), but he loves it. He must think those oxygen dots are a fashion statement.

We are thrilled to bring him home. Very, very nervous (let me emphasize that again....very nervous), but even more than that, so excited. I have a million things to do before Tuesday. Like prepare to be a real mom.

Devin was able to visit again this weekend. We are so thankful Arizona is close enough to pull off the visiting schedule he's been doing. Dev needs to be able to see his baby (and his wife!).....we've never been more thankful for 90 minute flights.

A big part of me has been feeling so bad that Devin hasn't been able to be here for every little thing Beau does, to be here to see his progress in person, to go through the NICU worries at his bedside instead of over the phone. A small part of me has worried that he wouldn't really feel a part of his life. Until this happened.......

Beau was awake for 45 minutes. We couldn't figure out what he needed---not hungry, not in pain, not needing a diaper change. He didn't need anything really----just wanting to be awake, to be talked to, to have a chat with his dad. (I've never seen him awake longer than 10 minutes!) He woke up right as were trying to leave.......our visit was immediately extended. You should have seen the two of us, all starry-eyed talking to him. Devin left that night and told me, "He's my little buddy. I love him." I think I feel better.

He got his first real bath (at almost 5 weeks!). He loved it---once again, held completely still with those big round eyes looking around. His hair, now clean, went naturally into his little fohawk that we love so much.We are so excited to be wrapping up his NICU stay. We appreciate the staff at IMC more they'll ever know. I'm heartbroken Devin won't be here on Tuesday to bring him home with me (that is not something that should ever be done alone, especially with your very first baby), but you better believe Skype will be our best friend until he comes back next weekend. Miss you Dev!
Keep up the good work little man.....we're ready for you to come home! Crossing our fingers and counting down to Tuesday!!

First Bath

2012-01-24T17:41:00.000-08:00

Four weeks old and Beau got his very first sponge bath today. (Thank you to his nurse Kelsey!) Can't quite do a real bath until the cord is fully healed. We wrapped him in a fleece blanket to keep him warm and did one body part at a time. He grunted and squirmed until we started pouring the water over him.....and he held completely still. Huge big eyes looking around, not a wiggle out of him. He loved it! Definitely my son---I am a bubble bath lover!!
I love moments like these, where I forget for a few minutes that he's attached to a monitor and oxygen. (So thankful for those however! We got them reattached quickly along with warm blankets to wrap him in while we waited for his hair to dry.) Days like today make me realize he really is coming home to stay with us, that he's our's to keep forever.

Looking forward to his first real bath--hopefully this weekend, and with Devin here to help!!

(Also feeling the need to say thank you again to all who have been so supportive of us. We appreciate you more than you know! And to our families....what would we do without you? You have hardly even blinked, yet your lives have been completely turned upside down for us. Thank you for your never-ending sacrifices!)

NO surgery!!

2012-01-23T16:29:00.000-08:00

I stand corrected!! Beau does not have a patent urachus!! Yes!!!

I am truly shocked the ultrasound came back negative---his belly button visibly oozed today. We were all convinced surgery was happening. When lifeflight picked him up, even the doctor said she was fairly certain he had one.

Beau took a 90 minute round-trip ride by ambulance to Primary's. The ultrasound itself was done in about 15 minutes.....I barely had time to grab a drink from the cafeteria. (If only all hospital testing happened that quickly!) Lifeflight called me to say the test was negative, and we were being sent back to IMC. I thought we'd be gone at least a few hours, but we made it back to his room at IMC before his next feed was even due! Ha!

Besides being thrilled we don't have to deal with surgery, we now do what we do best....watch and wait. The radiologist thinks it's simply a slow healing umbilical cord. It could continue to ooze for a bit. If it doesn't start to clear up in the next week, we will put silver nitrate on it. This creates a chemical burn, basically cauterizing the cord. His doctors were even mentioning following up outpatient with this, but we are requesting it's taken care of before he's discharged. Between having to get him into a pediatrician here in Utah before we head home, then get him into a children's hospital in Arizona once we're home, plus a few other insurance things factored in---it's just easier to get it taken care of now.

This really does put us closer to discharge. Beau has a minimum of seven days to go because of his ABD spells (he has to go 7 days without any stimulation or intervention before he's deemed safe for home......and he had to be stimulated today.) When he refluxes, he drops his heart rate to the 60's and his sats to the 50's. I'm definitely not taking a baby home that sensitive.

He also has to graduate to the final stage of the feeding protocol (he is currently on stage 3 out of four stages). Oxygen is not something that will keep him here, but we'd love to get him off it.

Eye exam is scheduled for Wednesday.
And his 30 day head ultrasound this morning was stable.
Two for two on tests so far this week!
It's a good day!

(Seeing pictures of him in the transport isolette was like dejavu. Brooklyn was in something identical when she was born and transported from Riverton Hospital. Notice the size difference......most especially the netting that acts as the baby's seatbelt!! She was 2 pounds, Beau is nearing 6 pounds! That's our big boy!! (Granted, she was 4 minutes old, he's 4 weeks old today) I'm thankful this was a non-emergent transport by ambulance instead of the emergent lifeflight she took by helicopter.)

Welcome Home Devin!!

2012-01-22T23:00:00.000-08:00

(excuse my splotchy face....we had just finished talking to the doctors and I was a little teary)

(First bottle given by mom and dad! Usually it's the nurses on night shift who bottle feed him when I'm not there.)

We were thrilled to have Devin home for the weekend. Definitely a short visit.....48 hours to be exact.......but we successfully made the most of his limited time. Best part for me? Seeing Dev kiss Beau on the head today and quietly tell him he loved him. I don't think he knew I was watching. Probably the fastest way to make a new mom tear up. Love my boys!

Devin is already back in Arizona, but he'll be back to in just a few days. (Thank you to the doctor he's rotating with for giving him an early weekend!) My spirits are renewed (as are my tears somehow......seems having my husband here made my emotions a little closer to the surface.).

When Dev was close to home on Friday night (poor guy had to drive again!....at least he got to fly home instead), I called to see what the sleeping arrangements would be (my parent's house or his). He said he wasn't going anywhere, that he was headed straight for the hospital to see the baby. He picked me up on his way, and off we went to see our little guy at 1:00am. (I'm thankful parents are allowed in the NICU any time of day or night). We sat in the dark while Devin held him, discussing Beau's progress and plans for this coming week (lots coming up this week!).

So what is on the agenda?

Unfortunately, our little guy is headed up to Primary Children's tomorrow.

Beau's scab came off his belly button again over the weekend, and it still looks like fresh cord under there. I think our "7-10 days to discharge" just got extended.

Plans are set to have Beau transported by ambulance tomorrow. (Although there is a chance he'll go by lifeflight. He is stable enough for a low altitude flight.) His abdominal ultrasound will be repeated by their radiologist. If it shows a patent urachus---which at this point we're all thinking it will---then ideally surgery will be scheduled for Tuesday or Wednesday. He could very easily remain in Primary's NICU---their team of doctors will take over his care. They would be the team to discharge us home unless they really find the need to transfer us back to IMC.

Remember how I said I was okay with this potential plan? I take it back.

Yes, this is a minor surgery. Yes, he should bounce right back. He'll be under the care of great surgeons if he does need surgery (I would know........I used to work for them). Their NICU is awesome, equipped to handle the long-term preemies, and more importantly, specialized in surgery for these tiny ones if they should need it. Primary's is like a second home to me because of my 3 years working there. And thanks to Brooklyn, their NICU kind of is too.

But my heart hurts. I'm so worried for my little man. Devin is not the emotional wreck I seem to be.....once again, he is calm and collected. When they told us yesterday this would be the plan, I held Beau close, kissed his furry head that smells so good, and couldn't help but cry. Do you know what surgery means to a parent (minor or not)?

-Risks.
-Possible infection.
-Delayed progress. (and he's been progressing so well!!)
-Delayed feeds due to surgery restrictions and recovery (again forcing a step back in his feeding progression). Will he still remember how to breastfeed and take a bottle? Or will the NG tube be in that much longer?
-Intubation!!.......this one kills me. He's never been intubated through this entire process except for the 5 minutes after birth he had to be intubated to receive surfactant (to help his lungs). Getting a preemie off of the ventilator can be difficult even if it's expected to be a fairly simple and quick surgery. Not to mention guaranteed oxygen for a while (and he's so close to being on room air!)
-Worst of all???......pain. My little man is going to hurt. Talk about pulling at your heartstrings. I can't even type it without tearing up.

So, this coming week is a big week for him......
1. Probable surgery.
2. An eye exam to check for ROP (eye damage related to prematurity and oxygen use).....this is the one test he really does have the lowest risk for, but you can guarantee I'll worry about it until it's done and negative for any problems!
3. His 30 day head ultrasound (can you believe he's already almost 4 weeks old?).

Please pray for him. He's going to need it. And who knows....maybe the abdominal ultrasound will come back negative after all!!

Pictures below are special treat for me. Beau always has his hands by his face.......and he managed to pull out his NG tube when I wasn't looking. He also happened to be on a room air trial at that moment, so I was able to get a few pictures of our baby's completely tube-free face!! (He is back on oxygen today--wasn't quite ready to give it up. I also couldn't get him to look at me. His crib has little black and white images hanging up that he loves to stare at......they won out over mom's voice. You can see one hanging behind him---I guess the black and white contrast helps them focus better. And excuse his red cheeks and scabs.....he has nails like weapons, and pulling the NG tube also meant pulling all the tape off his face. I cried lots of tears about those scratches!! Devin filed them down today since we can't clip them.)

Mom and Dad love you little man!!

Proud Grandpas

2012-01-19T23:06:00.000-08:00

The grandpas finally got their turn to hold Beau this past week.
Scott held his very first grandbaby---more than one more person has said Beau looks like him.
My dad (who had all girls and a girl grandbaby) finally has a boy in the family!
Beau of course slept the entire time he was being held. But we still watch him like it's the neatest thing he's ever done!

I hope Beau grows up to be just like the men in his life. He will have great examples to look up to!

Looking forward to this weekend---Devin is coming home tomorrow!! Wonder if he'll notice that his baby put on an entire pound while he was gone........!!

Progress Report

2012-01-17T23:41:00.000-08:00

1. Beau's third (and hopefully last!) head ultrasound looks great. No bleeding. And the ventricle size is decreasing. This was, and always will be, our first priority.....we're thrilled to once again get good news.

2. He's learning to eat!!! Not important to anyone but mom really (I'm a first-timer in this area!), but somehow these little ones can still figure it out. He is very slowly being progressed through a feeding protocol, with the goal being taking all of his feeds by mouth (and get rid of the NG tube).

3. The abdominal ultrasound is "indeterminate". I am frustrated by this news, but I'll take tummy issues over head issues any day. To be honest, they really don't know if he has a patent urachus. The ultrasound is read by a radiology team at Primary Children's Hospital, so they are not actually present to see the ultrasound images being taken. This can make it harder to interpret them at times. Beau's abdominal ultrasound showed a "possible tract" from his bladder to his belly button, but they really can't be sure. So now, we do what we do best.......watch and wait. If his belly button begins to ooze any liquid, they will transport him by ambulance to Primary Children's to have their radiologist repeat the imaging. If it is confirmed he has a urachus, it will need to be surgically corrected there. (I'm okay with this considering Primary's is my old stomping grounds, and it's a 20 minute ride up the hill.) If it doesn't ooze (which it hasn't so far), they will assume it's not a urachus. Here's to hoping for no new symptoms!

So, we have 66% good news (in Devin's own words). I rounded to 75% since it wasn't a positive test officially, and the surgery is actually very minor if he needs it. This is the frustrating part to the NICU world.....two steps forward, one step back. Always. Baby steps towards home. I think I'm disheartened that every time they tell us Beau has a "very low risk" for something, it seems to come back positive.

However, he is fortunately progressing in the right direction overall. I'm pretty sure I've aged 20 years, but I know Beau is not that sick.....there are plenty of sicker babies at IMC. But a wise friend and fellow hospital mom told me that it's the hardest thing I've ever done, and that's all the matters. (Thanks Brytt!!) I think I could write a novel on this whole experience, but I'll spare you the details.

Our focus now is his belly button and his continued oxygen need......the oxygen thing may be a longer road than we thought. We really don't want to take him home on oxygen, but we will if we have to. A lot of preemies go home on oxygen for weeks to months, but I'm hoping Beau's little lungs can catch up here in the next few weeks. He's hopefully going to turn a corner here soon......I'm thinking he already has because of his success with feeding the last 2 days. As always, thanks to all who are praying for our little man!

(first time burping.....he's so little!)

Our Happy Guy

2012-01-15T19:11:00.000-08:00

I'm starting to think Beau smiles easily...........just like his dad. Good trait to inherit. Hopefully he gets his dad's perfect teeth, too!! He really is a very content baby. He rarely cries, and always wakes up calm, just looking around.

(Going out on a limb here, but I think he's starting to look a little more like me!! I think it's his face shape?? His baby pictures are starting to look a lot like mine.)

Caught on camera (oh, how we love him! I have taken over 500 pictures in 3 weeks)......

This one is my favorite---because of what it means. Brooklyn used to do this exact "oh" face when she was little. Her speech therapist said that in preemies this means they are content. The first time Beau did this was two days ago. Those big dark eyes looked right at me, then out came the little lips.......I melted.
And for Dev, who needs to see lots of pictures and actual footage of his growing baby. (He is on call this weekend and couldn't come visit. Looking forward to next weekend!! We miss you!!) ....

(Updates from the hospital front: still on oxygen, still having reflux issues, consistently gaining weight. He is now getting a third head ultrasound tomorrow to follow up on the ventricle size. This wasn't originally the plan, but his new attending doctor wants one more ultrasound since he is new to Beau's case. I like the follow-through, so I'm totally comfortable with this decision. He is also getting an abdominal ultrasound tomorrow to check for a urachus (basically an umbilical cord cyst....which can create a fistula between his belly button and his bladder). His belly button scab finally came off today, but there's a little moist spot still attached. It's already drying up, but they're being thorough. Again, I like the follow-through, but I'm convinced that belly button is really just staying on extra long so that Devin can be here for his first bath!)

Little buddy, little man, little dude.....

2012-01-13T23:31:00.000-08:00

.........is growing!!! Passed the 5 pound mark tonight!!

(Love that his hair isn't falling out yet!)

Beau is growing before our eyes---and quickly!! He's still a peanut (doesn't fit in my arm yet from elbow to wrist), but he's packing on the ounces! He gained a half pound in 4 days!! I didn't really notice the changes until I compared pictures from a week ago before Devin left........

Here he is the last few days.......Unfortunately, anyone notice the extra addition to his face (besides fuller cheeks)? Back on oxygen. Danget.

They've been threatening to put him back on oxygen all week. He finally won himself a nasal cannula last night. Hopefully not a big deal. But I'm still entitled to worry (this baby was on room air by five days old!!), feel bad for him, and absolutely hate those oxygen dots on his cheeks.

It's still the same problem.....he is holding his breath way too much when he's getting fed and can't maintain his oxygen above 90%. This started almost overnight once they started fortifying my milk....so hopefully (and most likely) he's just having a hard time adjusting to the extra volume. But there's always that chance he could be getting sick. Or some other underlying issue. They don't really focus on that too much to my face....but I'm the mom. And a nurse. I already know what they're mentally watching for even if they're not saying it.

His oxygen was almost perfect today while being fed.....while on oxygen.....and being held at the same time. My nurse heart says this is normal and totally okay and there is no other underlying issues. My mom heart thinks it's a little bittersweet. His little body is just being asked to do things it shouldn't have to do quite yet.

But on a happier note, we sure love the little dude! Makes me feel better knowing he's not working too hard to make all his systems function. He can just sleep, eat, and grow! And he's doing a great job of that!!

Daily Routine

2012-01-10T22:17:00.000-08:00

The longer you have a baby in the NICU (or any family member in the hospital for that matter) the quicker you get into a routine. For documentation purposes, here is what my day as a NICU parent looks like.

Enter the NICU......
Scrub in to my elbows, removing all jewelry on my hands and wrists (Courtney, hope you don't mind I put your backside on the blog)......
Say hello to his cute nurses and get the update. This is Beau's girlfriend, Kelsey. He always turns towards to her voice, and has his best days when she's working. She is one of his primary nurses. We love her, and already asked if she would work 24/7. She said no.......
Help with cares, done every 3 hours, which includes taking his temperature (which he hates, and notice the finger in his nose)........
Cleaning his mouth (which he hates)......
Changing his pulse-ox so it doesn't burn his feet......
Change his bum (which he hates, and usually pees on mom right as she's getting ready to put a fresh diaper on him)......
Steal an extra moment to hold him (which mom loves) before tucking him in for a nap and his feed......

Proceed to take a million pictures and send them to Devin with a love note from Beau......

The day is ended with a nightly phone call to Devin updating him on the baby. We talk and evaluate Beau's numbers and progress until we can't think straight, then say goodnight.

Beau is officially a "feeder-grower." We are pretty much status quo.....it's a GREAT status to be at. His doctors are estimating he'll be hospitalized for another 3 weeks or so. He needs to learn to eat on his own, but we haven't started oral feeds yet. He is still dealing with some nasty reflux issues--he cannot be held while eating otherwise we get some pretty good ABD spells. (Apnea, Bradycardia, Desaturation). Most of the time he self-recovers, but sometimes he requires stimulation to make him breathe again. (Gray is not a good color on babies!) They are now fortifying my milk to make him gain weight, and he is packing it on.....finally surpassed his birth weight! Big boy weighs 4lbs. 12 oz.!! He's between sizes on clothes....preemie clothes don't fit great because he's so long, but newborn size drowns him!

We also will not be transferring back to Phoenix. Devin and I discussed this for a long time, and never felt good about it. With his head bleed issues, we weren't comfortable transferring him for a certain amount of time after a good head scan. He finally received clearance yesterday from a medical standpoint to fly, but at this point it is cheaper for our insurance to keep him here rather than pay for a life-flight transfer. They authorized him to stay at IMC the remainder of his hospital stay......and we are thrilled. We feel this is the safest thing for him. We will be driving him home to Arizona on a portable pulse-ox monitor once he is released. I think his grandparents, aunts, and uncles are not heartbroken by this news! :) But we miss Devin every day. (Love you Dev!) How can we not want the best for this little guy??

Preemie #5

2012-01-09T23:04:00.000-08:00

For those who don't know the family history, here's a look back at the preemie family tree. Thanks to Beau, our doctors are finally starting to acknowledge there may be a genetic issue going on here. We're 3 for 3 when it comes to the Firth women having pre-term labor. My mom had us twins early, but doctors didn't think much of it since we were multiples. Callie had to be taken early due to no amniotic fluid. But now that Ashlee and I both had spontaneous premature labor, we're thinking there's something more going on. (Sorry for the picture quality on the first 3---they're over 20 years old.)

Me
July, 1984--born at 30 weeks
(2 lbs. 8 oz., 13 inches long)

Ashlee
July, 1984--born at 30 weeks
(2 lbs. 10 oz., 14 inches long)

Callie
November, 1993--born at 27 weeks (quit growing at 24 weeks)
(1 lb. 8 oz., 10 inches long)

Brooklyn
April, 2010--born at 28 weeks
(2 lbs, 6 oz., 14 inches long)

Beau
December, 2011--born at 31 weeks
(4 lbs. 11 oz., 17 3/4 inches long (Thank goodness!---caucasian males always do worse if they're early....NICU's call it "wimpy white boy" syndrome))

Let's hope there won't ever be a preemie #6! They're worth every heartache, but we're probably good on the NICU thing for life. :)

Ultrasound Results

2012-01-09T15:47:00.001-08:00

Yesterday I did not go up to the hospital until after dinner. As much as I feel that constant need to be with Beau, I am exhausted. I stayed home and took a much needed nap after church. Our families also came up that night for a visit and to help give Beau another blessing. (This one given by my dad since Devin couldn't be here to do it.) Once everyone went home, I sat in the rocking chair, holding my little man. I asked him to forgive me for not coming to visit earlier, to which he responded with a smile in his sleep (thank you well-timed gas bubbles!!!). I whispered that I loved him, and asked if he was going to have a good ultrasound tomorrow. Another smile. I took that as a good sign.

Beau's head ultrasound is clean. No evidence of any hemorrhage--no "debris", no areas of swelling, no blood clots floating in his CSF. They are questioning if there was a bleed at all. His ventricles are still mildly enlarged, but they are attributing that to a normal variant for him. In my heart, I know there was a small bleed early on in his little life. But I also know he's going to be just fine. His doctors and nurses do not see any signs whatsoever of brain damage, and do not expect any in the future. A burden has been lifted. The relief I feel today is indescribable. Devin would second that, as would our families. Beau will most likely not get another ultrasound until the regularly scheduled 30 day ultrasound that all preemies get.

The Lord has heard our prayers. We would have accepted whatever the results may have been...it ultimately wasn't up to us. But we're thankful this cute little face gave us good news today.........Thank you all for your support, well-wishes, and prayers in his behalf. We appreciate it more than you know!!

As an interesting side note, my mom pulled out my old pictures and doctors notes from when I was a preemie (born at 30 weeks). Many don't know I also had a questionable Grade 1 head bleed. Reading the radiology report last night, the results are almost identical to Beau's!!! I also had bilateral ventricular enlargement, had an enlarged coroid plexus (which is where they originally said Beau's bleed was), but follow-up results showed no evidence of intraventricular hemmorhage. They attributed my enlarged ventricles to my prematurity and a "normal variant for size."

Mom and Dad love you little buddy!!
(and happy birthday--2 weeks old today)

Proud Grandmas

2012-01-08T23:00:00.000-08:00

(Beau: 4 days old)

Before Devin left for Arizona, he had one request.....that the grandmas get to hold the baby. With full approval from his nurses, they each held him for almost 2 hours. (on separate days....and before all of his reflux issues made him less tolerant of being held)

Beau did great....... slept peacefully the whole time.
My mom's right leg went to sleep.
Debbie couldn't feel her wrist.

Beau loves his grandmas!! :)

Saying goodbye to Dad

2012-01-07T08:34:00.000-08:00

Devin left today to go home to Arizona. I'm trying my hardest not to fall apart. And it's snowing to boot. As much as we wish life would just stop until Beau is healthy, it doesn't work like that. Devin's new rotation begins on Monday, so with heavy hearts we told him goodbye this morning. My waterworks have been flowing freely the last few days in preparation for him leaving. We are so thankful to our families for all their support, and we will manage just fine living life separately for a little while. But only because we have to, not because we want to.

Beau and I are here for an undetermined length of time. He is not stable for transfer, not sure if he will be transferred at all. He is our priority, so living in separate states for a while will have to be the normal for us. He is still so little, so fragile. They moved him into an open crib two days ago.....boy have I gone into freak out mode!! Fastest way to panic a new mom? Put her preemie in a shoebox sized crib. It's good to know he's progressing enough to graduate him out of the isolette, but I'd really prefer him to stay in that little glass box until he comes home. Is it possible to bubble wrap a baby for 9 weeks? I think the Mama Bear in me has made herself known!! We are able to hold him once a shift now, but he doesn't tolerate it long. He oxygen sats drop after about 15 minutes, telling us he ready to be put back to bed. I also think he has more of a problem with reflux than they're giving him credit for. He has to be held upright and straight out in front of you to maintain good oxygen levels when he's getting fed. My heart aches with worry for him!! Worried he'll get sick now that's he's in a big boy bed, get cold, or just be exposed to too much stimulation out in the open air. (We are not even allowed to rock in the chair while holding him due to concern for too much stimulation to him). Worried someone will mistakenly lift his legs too high, increasing his risk for additional brain bleeding. He may be a big 31 week preemie, but he is still very fragile. I think I cry every night while in the mother's pumping room. On a good note, he's finally starting to gain some weight. He dropped to 4 lbs 4 oz, but is now up to 4lbs 8 oz. I'll sleep easier when he's about 10 pounds. (And yes, I already asked if we could put him back in the isolette. They told me no. He needs to continue to regulate his own body temperature....staying long term in the isolette could actually hinder him more than help him.)
Devin will now be commuting back and forth to Phoenix on the weekends as his schedule tolerates. Crossing my fingers he can come back next weekend. I miss you already Dev!! Praying for a safe drive and quickly passing time until we see you again!! We love you!!
And as always, praying for you little Beau! Stay healthy, don't breathe any germs, and grow quickly!!

Faith

2012-01-04T14:58:00.001-08:00

Faith is one of those beliefs you hope you never really have to exercise to its fullest capacity. It is probably one of the most treasured beliefs in life, accompanied by some of the biggest blessings. But the truth of the matter is, faith building experiences are often trials. Trials meant to teach you and test you, sometimes to your breaking point. It will change you, hopefully make you a better person, but not before you're put before the refiner's fire first.

Beau mistakenly had two head ultrasounds done this week (24 hours apart) due to a clerical error. The first came back negative for any intraventricular hemmorage, but with slightly enlarged ventricles. Not entirely concerning, but a little mysterious considering there was no reason why. The second one was different. They were able to pick up a little bit of "debris"......they confirmed it as a Grade 1 bleed. We were absolutely devastated! Shocked!! Neurologically he has been totally appropriate to this point, maybe even a little ahead of the game. He has progressed very quickly for a preemie.

To explain brain bleeds to anyone not entirely familiar with them, they are graded stage 1-4, with 4 being the worst. Grade 1 is not that concerning, the prognosis is great actually. 80-90% of preemies with grade 1 or grade 2 bleeds have absolutely no neurological deficit later in life. The brain is amazing, and can usually compensate for a lot when it comes to injury, if there even is any. There is always that risk that there could be enough damage to be noted later developmentally. Good odds, but I hate risk. Beau had a less than 2% chance for a bleed......and had one.

I have honestly wondered if I could talk about this. What would I say? News like that is crushing, life changing. To wonder if your child will be given the chance at a normal life is sickening. To wonder if others will love him as much as you do, and unconditionally. After receiving the news, immediately I knew two things: whatever may be his course in life, he is still our son, and we love him. I would die for him.

We were given this news last night. To say the last 12 hours have been absolutely the worst of my life is an understatement. I just couldn't face the world. I hardly slept, was up early to pump and cry, wondering how many times a heart can break. Wondering how much more I could take. I have never felt pain like that in my entire life. It was all consuming.....I couldn't get away from it, could hardly stand it. That pain is something I don't think I can even write about.....it's too raw, too close to my heart. It is forever tucked away, leaving a scar, hopefully never to be felt again. I prayed like I've never prayed before this morning, begging for relief. The principle of the Atonement was now at the forefront of my thoughts, knowing the Savior had already suffered all my pains and griefs. I begged for my burden to be lifted, to have the pain just disappear. I didn't need a miracle, didn't need the results to miraculously change, I just needed to be able to function. I went back to bed, sobbing in my husband's arms, sobbing for my innocent baby who had done nothing wrong to deserve what life might be handing him.

I awoke an hour later feeling peace. Knowing I could face my day. The pain had been numbed and one thing was for certain.....I love my little boy, bleed or not.

Arriving at the hospital early this morning I patiently waited for the doctors to round. I needed to know where the bleed was (in our shock last night we hadn't thought to ask). The NP finally came in to talk to me, and explained that the bleed is in the Germinal Matrix. This part of the brain is a lining around his ventricles that actually only exists in babies 34 weeks and younger. Past 34 weeks, it disappears. So, what does this mean for Beau? Basically, they fully expect this bleed to resolve and disappear with the germinal matrix....and quickly. They do not think he will have any neurological damage whatsover due to where the bleed was located. That matrix is not actually a permanent part of his brain structure. Of course, there is always 1 or 2 babies that are a fluke, and skew the statistics, but his prognosis is very very good. They are viewing him as a typical 31 weeker without a brain bleed. They fully expect him to live a normal life. I nearly kissed the NP. A quick phone call to Devin and our families had all of us in tears. They will repeat his ultrasound again on Monday to follow up on the ventricle enlargement....which is now being attributed to that grade 1 bleed.

My dad was visiting when I got the news. We went to lunch in the hospital cafeteria after to discuss the stress of being a NICU parent. Oh, how I have been pushed to my absolute limits!! I do not know how my parents did this with 3 of their kids, and Ashlee and Roger with Brooklyn. Beau is been significantly less sick to this point, yet I feel I have been tested to my breaking point. My dad said there has been nothing, absolutely nothing, more trying in his life than having a preemie. I whole heartedly agree.

In the big picture, a parent's love is unconditional. It comes naturally, without any hesitation whatsoever. This little face is everything to us!! We love you little buddy!!

Please please pray for Beau this weekend....his next scan will be Monday to follow up. Crossing our fingers that everything is resolving as expected. We will be doing a family fast for him, but if anyone wants to include him in your prayers on Sunday we'd appreciate it!

Spa Day

2012-01-04T07:03:00.001-08:00

First hair wash.
Fluffy hair.
First time wearing comfy jammies.
Sweet dreams.

Life doesn't get any better than this!
(9 days old)

Happy 2012

2012-01-04T06:24:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year?? Yah, we think so............

January 1, 2012---held my baby for the first time.

My heart was pounding, I couldn't see through my tears, and I could hardly feel the tiny thing in my arms. I held him for an hour and half---he hardly moved (unusual for our normally wiggly baby)---nor did I.

January 2, 2012--Devin's turn.

I think I cried as much watching him hold the baby as I did holding him myself! Held him for an hour and half---he opened his eyes for his Dad.

We are in love!

Words of Wisdom

2012-01-02T10:00:00.000-08:00

These are the words written above the NICU entrance. How right Dr. Seuss is!! Having Beau, and more importantly having him in the NICU, has changed my entire perspective. Do these nurses have any idea that he is our everything? How much we worry about him? I have loved most of our nurses, don't get me wrong, but are they caring for him as they would their own child? (I'd love to be his nurse and his mom if I could!) Do they know how many tears I shed worrying if he needs his binky, or if he's startling himself awake too much, or if his feet are cold because he won't keep them tucked in? Do they know he's on my mind every minute I'm awake? Does his pucker break their hearts the way it does mine? As a nurse, boy has this changed the way I will view my patients. Everybody, no matter who they are, is somebody's everything!!
Devin arrived back to Salt lake yesterday from Arizona. I rang in the New Year with my mom and dad the night before, mentally kissing both my boys at midnight since I couldn't actually kiss either one. Dev's been waiting to see Beau open his eyes....which he finally did yesterday while he was still driving.....so I got it on video for him to see.

Beau is coming off the bilirubin lights today, so now maybe we can see his eyes more often without those protective goggles on! And these two pictures are taken two days apart....notice the difference?? No more oxygen!!!! Keep up the good work little buddy!!
Please pray for our baby tonight. His head ultra sound is tomorrow to check for any brain bleeds caused by entering this world too early. Devin gave him a blessing last night with the help of both grandpas. His risk for bleeding is very low, but he still needs all the prayers he can get!

Bedside Vigils

2011-12-31T00:30:00.000-08:00

(wearing our NICU Parent badges)

Bedside vigils have become our regular routine these last few days. We just don't want to leave, despite probably needing the change of scenery. I know I'm distracted.....possibly somewhat mental. More likely, I'm just past caring about the little things. I walked up the stairs one morning at my mother-in-law's house to put the few drops of milk I had finally produced in her fridge. I hadn't brushed my hair or my teeth, and my eyes were unevenly swollen due to tears the night before. Devin looked at me, gave me a hug, and then quietly told me my shirt was on backwards. I didn't care. Tonight on the way home from the hospital, I was on the phone with Devin (who is actually on a 48 hour round-trip drive to Phoenix to return our rental car and get some things taken care of at home--the rental car company was unwilling to work with us beyond letting us turn it in a few days late), and was updating him on the baby. I was pulled over within seconds of leaving IMC's parking lot for not signaling. I'm pretty sure the cop thought I was going to pass out on him.....I was hysterical telling him our story. He told me to calm down before driving home, that he wasn't giving me a ticket, and wished me luck. Pretty sure he either thought I had really practiced my acting skills, or that I was legitimately in crisis mode. Either way, I was thankful for not getting a ticket.

Some day we will look back and chuckle at some of our crazier moments through all of this. As for the baby, oh how we love him! As we have spent hours at Beau's bedside, we have watched our cute little man's personality emerge. Boy is he fiesty!!! He does not like to be bothered. His cry is like a kitten's, but he sure tries to make himself heard. And he loves to have one foot out.....always stretching out a hand or a leg......he's quite the little poser.

We did not get a good look at our baby's face or head until yesterday. They finally removed all of his attachments, getting rid of the CPAP hat, bilirubin goggles, and chin strap to keep his mouth closed. His swelling has gone down, and having less attachments has made him significantly calmer. His entire look has changed!!! And he has so much dark hair! I'm pretty sure I was not involved in his creation whatsover.....he is a Bland through and through! I think he has my feet and hands, and maybe the dimple in my chin. Everything else is Devin.

One day old.....our little elf (on CPAP)
Two days old....in the tanning bed (for his jaundice), still on CPAP.
Three days old....starting to look like a real baby, although tiny. On nasal cannula only, and getting tube fed. Mom and Dad are still very nervous to touch him, but can't resist his little peach fuzz and mohawk hair.

I will forever cherish these times at his bedside. Devin and I have had quite the discussions sitting by his side, even naming him one night at 2:00 am. (I was due to be discharged the next morning, and he had not been named yet. Down to the NICU we went to look at him again and see what name he most looked like. We wouldn't leave until we had named him. We quietly sat there in the dark, talking and watching him. A half an hour later, Devin wheeled me back to our room, having finally named our baby.)

We have had so many visitors, friends and family coming to see our new addition and join in the bedside watch. Thank you for your visits, for your support, and even for the tears that I have noticed some of you quietly wiping as you walk in. It means more to us than you know.

Off to sleep....happy our little man is also sleeping peacefully in his isolette tonight!

Baby Boy Bland

2011-12-30T05:23:00.000-08:00

(pictures taken today- 3 days old)

I feel like history is repeating itself when I say, where do I start? I have struggled to find the time to sit down and update on our little one, overwhelmed by all we have been dealing with. Even more, I was unsure if I had the emotional stamina to pour out my heart in words and still be able to finish the post. Our hearts are so full, tears come so very easy.

To begin, Baby Boy Bland is now Beau Scott Bland. Born December 26th at 6:53pm, weighing in at 4 lbs 11 oz, measuring 17 3/4 inches long. And we are absolutely smitten with him!!

I need to start by thanking everyone who has called, emailed, text messaged, sent gifts, and visited. We have been truly overwhelmed by the kindness and generosity of others. We are even more overwhelmed by our complete inability to adequately thank everyone and keep people updated. Please know your acts of kindness have not gone unnoticed, and have brought happiness to our difficult situation. We cannot thank you enough and apologize if anyone has felt ignored or unappreciated.

For those who don't know the actual story, I will tell that next. Devin and I have been here in Salt Lake visiting for the holidays, arriving on the 23rd. I saw my doctor the day we left, and all was well. Christmas morning I woke up not feeling great, but thought I had just overdone it with all the festivities on Christmas Eve. I also thought I was having some digestive issues, and chalked it up to too much good food the night before. The discomfort I was feeling was only intermittent, and I didn't think much of it. As the day progressed, the baby was very active. I kept feeling him move so much, and he kept "balling up" on my right side. Looking back now, those "balling up" feelings were actually contractions, and I mistakenly thought it was just the baby I could feel. Who has contractions on just one side of their stomach? By that evening, the movements were actually slightly painful, and I pointed this out to Devin, thinking the baby was being extra strong that day. Ashlee immediately disagreed when she heard that, having already noticed me acting funny in church earlier that day. We started timing the movements, and they were 4 minutes apart. I laid down and called my doctor, but due to a cell phone problem did not hear back for 30 minutes. By the time his nurse practictioner called me back, Devin and I were already pulling into the ER at IMC.

An hour later I was told I was dilated to a 3 and 80% effaced. They would admit me and try to stop the labor. By the next morning I was dilated to a 4 and fully effaced, but pretty much stalled at this point. We were thrilled, thinking I had another few days, hopefully a couple weeks if we were lucky. I would not be allowed to leave Salt Lake until the baby was born or I reached 36 weeks, whichever came first. I was exactly 31 weeks at this point. A few hours later, I started bleeding. I was now dilated to a 7, and knew they would be unable to stop the baby from coming. My doctor wanted to now speed up the process, hoping to cut down on any infection risk or stress to the baby. They broke my water and started Pitocin. I delivered at 6:53pm in the OR, with Devin at my side. Devin cut the cord, and we were able to see his face and hear him cry before they handed him through the window to the waiting NICU staff.

He is doing as well as can be expected. He's a tiny little thing, but his size is significantly bigger than we expected. In reality, he is a whopper compared to what the Firth women are used to seeing. That will work in his favor without a doubt. His size will have little effect on his respiratory status, but that too is better than we expected. He spent 2 days on CPAP, and is now on a regular nasal cannula. He has spent 48 hours under bilirubin lights, and they started feeding him through a tube yesterday. Already, our situation is so much better than Ashlee and Roger's was....that 3 weeks has made all the difference in the world.

We have definitely been watched over this holiday season. As much as we are devastated by his early arrival, there is no doubt the Lord is looking out for us. To start, I was originally supposed to be working 6 hours on Christmas morning. We would have left for Salt Lake around 2:30pm that day. Considering I was feeling okay around that time, I would have no reason to think we shouldn't get in the car and go. I would have been in active labor within hours, possibly delivering on the side of the road. We would have made it to Las Vegas if we were lucky. We are so blessed to be here in Salt Lake instead, in a hospital we're familiar and comfortable with, and with our families and friends here to support us. Devin is also on break for 2 weeks, as the doctor he is rotating with is out of town. His next rotation should have started Monday, yet he now has the time to stay and get life worked out here with our new little one. As much as this situation has been difficult....especially dealing with out-of-network insurances issues for 2 fiscal years......I am beyond humbled by the little things that have happened and fallen into place. The Lord knows our trials, and is watching over our little family.

For now, the plan is to keep Beau here until he is stable enough to transfer back to Phoenix. Devin and I are staying with our families, trying to coordinate our lives between Utah and Arizona. Also, for those who knew I was back in the ER temporarily, I am fine. I was having chest pain and shortness of breath all day yesterday, but everything checked out fine. I am very fluid overloaded from delivery, and overly stressed, but nothing is significantly wrong. I have to be honest and admit my heart is completely broken, overwhelmed by worry for my new family. My emotions and worry have gotten the best of me....something that I don't think has ever happened---ever. I am feeling much better now, but am not ashamed to admit my weakness in all of this. I have been quite literally brought to my knees.

I have to tell my husband how much I love him. This entire week has been a shell shock for us. We were convinced we had done everything right, that making it to week 30 put us in the clear. How wrong we were. I have barely kept afloat, yet he has been so rock solid. He has not left my side, and the blessing he gave me prior to delivering is one I will never forget. Our relationship is forever changed by this entire experience.

We love Beau beyond belief. Our lives have been forever changed by him. We cannot get enough of him, our hours spent at his bedside flying by without realizing another day has passed. Leaving the hospital, I completely forgot it was even Christmas until I saw lights on a tree.

To our friends and well-wishers, thank you, thank you, thank you. To our incredible families, you will never know how grateful we are for your support and never ending sacrifices. To our son, we love you so very much, and are thrilled to have you in our family. Keep up your fiesty little attitude......we want to take you home as soon as possible!!

We will try to update as much as possible--he is our world now. Thank you again to everyone!

Week 30

2011-12-19T14:00:00.000-08:00

We're in the 30's!! I think I can officially say we're on the homestretch! Ten more weeks is still a lot, but it'll be here before we know it. One day I'm going to wake up and realize I only have days left to get everything ready, not months. (His crib is up though.....two and a half hours later! It used to be my crib as a baby, so it didn't come with directions. After spending all that time putting it together, we slid it down the hall to his room and what do you know? Didn't fit through the doorway! Take number two of assembling the crib--twenty minutes.)

I'm feeling great. I know others have had some pretty rough pregnancies, but I have absolutely no complaints so far. Despite pregnancy being very easy and enjoyable for me, I do need to document some of the things that have surprised me, for future reference. The naive side of me thought some pregnancy symptoms were just myths....or exaggerations at least.

-I am not exempt from pregnancy stretch marks. New ones that is....the old ones are still holding up just fine.

-You really do get short of breath if you lay on your back. And quickly!

-Dizzy spells happen for no reason at all.

-Digestion in any sense of the word is thrown off balance.

-I now know what heartburn feels like. I have never had it before. It makes me dry heave in the middle of the night sometimes. I now sleep on two pillows.

-Bad skin, bad hair, although I think I blame this too much on pregnancy? :)

-Once the nausea went away (months and months ago), my already pre-pregnancy craving for chocolate has increased. And pretty much everything tastes better now. Devin is disappointed I finish everything on my plate now.....he used to get a meal and a half when we went out to eat.

-Swelling feet. Haven't had a lot of this at all....mostly after long drives. My left foot/ankle gets bigger than my right.

-More emotional? Um, yah. Didn't think so, like at all--thought I was actually very easy to live with--until one day I balled my eyes out because Devin teased my roots were brown. The same week I freaked out and then balled in Target because Devin suggested I put a specific brand of socks he likes in his Christmas stocking. I'd already bought them, and was beyond upset that he'd ruined the "surprise". Some stocking stuffer Santa.

-Allergies have turned me into a tissue person. I never used to keep them in the house....now every bathroom in the apartment has a box.

-I really do have a hard time getting my socks and shoes on. Never thought I'd see that day!

-Bathroom breaks! All times of day and night, even if I just went a half hour ago. I think this is the symptom Devin has noticed most.

-Feeling the baby move even a little bit never gets old. (Cute story: this baby wakes up to our alarm clocks! Even if I don't have to get up---but Devin's alarm goes off---within seconds the baby is kicking and rolling. It's like clockwork every morning.....I look forward to my little alarm clock reminding us it's time to get out of bed!)

-Worry never goes away. And excitement only gets stronger.

-The body is amazing that it can carry a child like that and have little more than a sore back and sore stomach at the end of the day.

-Every so-called "bad" pregnancy symptom is worth it, and I would take them all ten-fold for this baby.

For my sisters, here we are at the big 3-0, with a couple to compare from the last month. I get asked minimum 3 times a week if I'm having twins.....this has been the case since week 24 actually. No twins, just a big lunker apparently. :)

Christmas Festivities

2011-12-15T12:07:00.000-08:00

A couple weeks ago we braved the abnormally cold weather and rain to see the Mesa Temple Christmas lights. I think they were even more beautiful than last year. Christmas lights on palm trees are beautiful. We went with Gabe and Abby, of course--if it wasn't the last Christmas in Arizona for all four of us, this would become a December tradition.

Last year at the temple lights Abby and I were in full preparation for our marathon. This year we're preparing for an entirely different marathon......babies in February! I can't believe I haven't actually mentioned it before on the blog, but I will have an adopted niece come the beginning of February! (We're hoping she'll grow up and marry our baby boy.) It's been so fun being pregnant with Abby! We now walk/waddle our pregnant bodies along our old running paths.

Gabe and Abby also just threw an ugly sweater party at their house. Such a fun night!! We laughed all night long. Gabe and Abby always throw great parties. (We will miss them so much when life takes us different directions this coming year.) Here we are in all our ugly sweater glory, matching to boot! Brought to you courtesy of Walmart women's section, size XL for the pregnant belly and size 3XL for Dev so it would fit.

Thanks for all the entertainment Valenzuela's! We love you guys!!

Thanksgiving in Utah

2011-12-07T17:18:00.000-08:00

We had a great Thanksgiving this year. It was automatically better for me because I wasn't sitting in the hospital eating cafeteria turkey as I've done the past two years. Thanksgiving is definitely one of those holidays better spent together and with family.....so thank you to both our families who kept us well-fed and entertained!

I was a major slacker in the picture department this year. I think I was too focused on the food and fun things we were going to get to do. The only picture I took the entire week was the one of my in-laws---even Eric and April who were in town from St. George-- "planking" on the floor (see below.....Devin and I walked in to this as a welcome home! So funny!!) All these pictures are borrowed/stolen from my sister-in-law, and I don't even have one of Thanksgiving with the Firth side. (sorry mom) Whit did get a blackmail one of me while Black Friday shopping.....I had to borrow Devin's coat that night since I'm limited on what fits these days. I looked like the little boy on "A Christmas Story."

Congrats to my cousin Abbie who got married 2 days before Thanksgiving. I love weddings, so this was a great event for me to be able to come to. (Missing Dev--he flew in late Wednesday night. Rotations are awesome, but taking days off right before a holiday is very hard to do.) Congrats to the newlyweds!

We have so much to be thankful for this year. Life really is so good. I'm constantly humbled by how much we have been blessed with. Hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving!!

Devin's grandparents also just celebrated their sixtieth wedding anniversary. What a legacy! My cute mother-in-law put together a great celebration dinner at Olive Garden over the weekend to celebrate their life together. I can't wait until the day I can say Devin and I have been married sixty years....I can't imagine the things we'll see and do in that time! Congrats to Grandma and Grandpa Call, and thank you Debbie for a great party!

Baby Shower

2011-12-04T13:00:00.000-08:00

While in Utah for Thanksgiving, the cousins and aunts threw me my very first baby shower. Not something I'll forget, that's for sure. I'm pretty sure I will save the shower invitation forever. A huge thank you goes first to my cousins Brooke and Nat who hosted and planned everything. Another thank you goes to the rest of the family (my cute in-laws included) who gave us gift after gift. To put it mildly, I am completely overwhelmed by everybody's generosity. Devin couldn't believe all the stuff I came home with! Our rental car was packed window to window driving home. We are so excited, so grateful.

Thank you, thank you to all those who made it such a memorable night. To most people a baby shower is just another night booked into their schedule--for me, it was something I've looked forward to for a long time, a night I appreciated so much!

Tomorrow officially marks 28 weeks, day one of my third trimester. The Bland and Firth families will be holding their breath a little for the next few days....because if I were Ashlee I'd be delivering tomorrow. If I were my mom, I would have already delivered. Ash and I have had so many "twinsy" things happen to us in our lives, but I'm praying this isn't one of them. We'll take this baby however we can get him, but we'd love to see the end of third trimester! Devin is rotaing at the exact hospital I'm delivering at in January and February....I'm considering that a good sign. Looking forward to 12 more weeks of being pregnant!

Holiday Ready

2011-12-02T09:00:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago my oh-so-creative friend Angel threw her annual Ornament Exchange party. As much as this party gives me crafting anxiety (remember, the ornaments have to be homemade), I look forward to it every year. She threw it a little early this year in preparation for her little baby girl coming in December. Once again, it was a success! Thanks again Angel for a great party!

(my ornament, front and back)

After the ornament party, I decided to pull out the Christmas decor early. Normally I would never decorate until after Thanksgiving, but I had my reasons. For the first time since we've lived in Arizona, Devin and I both were able to spend Thanksgiving with our families. (I've worked the last 2 years in a row.) I wanted to enjoy Christmas decorations for an entire month......come home to an already decorated house. I figured putting up Christmas a few days before Thanksgiving wouldn't hurt anything (although when we do finally have a normal schedule some day the Christmas tree will go up as scheduled the day after Thanksgiving). Our tree is up, our stockings are hung, and our table decorations are in position! We are ready for the holiday season!

Utah vs. Arizona

2011-11-29T00:15:00.000-08:00

Our baby is going to be a Ute---of that we're sure!! A few weeks ago my family (missing two spouses--missed you Rog and Davis) came in town to watch the Utes play University of Arizona. Perfect excuse for a visit! We all drove to Tucson to support our PAC 12 team! Baby Boy was awake and kicking the entire game...pretty sure he's going to sport his red colors some day! For now we're practicing with Brooklyn. Can't get enough of her five teeth and permament grin.

Callie was finally able to visit this time. She has never seen where Devin and I live--ever. Kind of weird considering we're now on the downhill slide in Arizona. Being true to our gender, us girls shopped just about the entire weekend. It's a bad habit, but we got some major Christmas shopping done. Took the fam to church, spent countless hours watching Brooklyn, and went out to eat. Doing what we do best!

We worked on teaching Brooklyn where the "baby" was. She got it pretty fast! Kind of weird that less than 2 years ago we were feeling Ashlee's tummy on this exact couch!

Here we are at 25 weeks. Nice to have Dev be able to join the fun this trip, too. His rotation has been unbelievably busy this month, but anything is better than studying all night. (And this shirt no longer fits as well as it did then. Grow baby grow!)

Thanks for visiting fam. What a great trip!! Now our turn to visit you guys for the holidays! (And happy birthday to Callie tomorrow......18!!!!)

5B Babies

2011-11-13T19:07:00.000-08:00

The unit I currently work on is a very small one compared to my last job. The total number of nurses we have employed is probably the same number of nurses we had scheduled per shift at CSU. I work straight day shifts (love that!!), and there are a few co-workers that have become very good friends of mine. It makes all the difference in the world to work with people you enjoy being around.....something I was worried I wouldn't find again after leaving such a tight-knit place like Primary's. (And having my sister work with me!)

Two of my fellow nurse friends are also pregnant, and we're all due very close together. Roxanne is due in December, I'm due in February, and Lisa is due in March. It has been the funnest thing ever to be pregnant with these ladies....talking funny pregnancy stories, ultrasounds, baby names, and watching our navy blue scrubs getting tighter by the week.

This past weekend we were all scheduled to work the same day. One of the physical therapists took our picture on Lisa's phone to document the growing 5B babies. Considering Roxanne has less than 3 weeks to go, this was probably one of our last shifts together of all three of us being pregnant.

I am thankful for these ladies.....their friendship inside and outside of work has made my Arizona nurse days all the better. I will miss them when I leave!

(Roxanne, me, Lisa)

AZ Halloween 2011

2011-11-01T20:32:00.000-07:00

For the first time in years I was not scheduled to work Halloween. I love Halloween as much as the rest, but it was never priority on my list of holidays to try to get out of, especially not having kids. This year was no different, but the schedule just worked out in my favor.

Devin and I were all excited to hand out Halloween candy together this year. The kid in me wished I could grab a pillowcase and go trick-or-treating instead of being the adult giving out the candy. I loved, loved, loved Halloween growing up. We literally ran house to house.....and multiple neighborhoods too!! Devin just loves to dress up.....he's not a candy person. (Wish I could say the same! Devin teases me every year because he knows the Halloween candy I buy will most definitely be opened well before Halloween!)

We didn't get a single trick-or-treater. Not one!! They've been few and far between in years past, so I was prepared to have a lot of candy left over, but not a single doorbell ring this year! We sat on the couch waiting, and watching TV, and eating all the candy until about 8:30, and then called it a night. We still had fun......but now who's going to finish the candy? Devin has maybe two Kit Kats and calls it quits. That obviously leaves the pregnant chocoholic. This baby may come out looking like a funsize milky way. (Better take that candy to work instead!) Maybe next year I'll buy gross candy. Darn Costco.

We carved pumpkins Friday night. Again, had to schedule that one in advance this year. Devin's schedule can be as hard to work around as mine right now. I don't get way into decorating for Halloween, but pumpkins for the porch are a must! (There is one bowl of Fall decorations on my table, and my homemade candycorn wreath is hanging on my door, but that's the extent of it.) The night we carved pumpkins I made some chili and brownies, and burned a pumpkin scented candle.....lo and behold you have quite the festive Halloween night!

This is our last year of carving pumpkins for two. Next year we get to add a third pumpkin for our little man! Hope every had a happy Halloween!!!

Thriller at Tuacahn

2011-10-28T14:11:00.001-07:00

Last year I missed out on a fun girl's trip to see Thriller with my in-laws. I didn't have enough notice to get the weekend off from work so I had to miss the party.

Needless to say, this year when April called to offer the invite again (6 months in advance....thanks Ape!!), I wasn't missing it! Devin also was able to come....he wasn't on call this weekend, and couldn't pass up an opportunity to golf with his brothers. We hopped in the car and met the fam in St. George. Eric and April live in St. George, and graciously hosted all of us in their beautiful house.

I'm a first timer seeing Thriller. Loved it! I'd be lying if I said some of the dancers didn't make me jump a time or two during intermission (They hide in the bushes, bathroom, pretty much everywhere, and walk around scaring people. Mission accomplished on my part.)

It was a quick visit, but we made the most of our time there. Thank you Bland girlies for a great weekend. Let's do it again next year!!

Half Way

2011-10-17T19:00:00.000-07:00

We have passed the half way point on the two biggest things in our lives right now....pregnancy and podiatry school. (Each of us is carrying the main responsibility for one of these, with the other acting as the "supporting role". Ha!) I can't believe how fast time has gone---in regards to pregnancy AND school. I was convinced rotations would never get here, now we're already talking about residency options. And when I was brand new 4.5 weeks pregnant, I never thought the 20's would get here so fast!

For Devin, this means rotations are finally beginning--this week!! He is beyond excited for the change of scenery, to really get into hands-on stuff. No more tests, no more class. Our kitchen table is clear of packets and books! (I'm pretty sure we've only eaten off the kitchen table (a.k.a. Devin's study) maybe 10 times in the last two years. Or when we have people over. The rest of the time the ottoman in front of the TV makes a great table! Not that I cook that often---let's be honest, cooking for a student and a nurse makes for very sporadic meals. No judging please. Unless you want to come over and just cook for me. Not a bad idea.) And can I just say I love third year? Devin is home all the time now!!!! It is so great! I may sound a little whiny, but it's complete honesty! This week also brings on a whole round of applications again.....for rotations his final year of school. Those ones are nationwide. It's a little stressful, but exciting to see where life could possiby take us next. Wishing my husband good luck with all he has going this week!!

As for me, I've discovered I have much less restraint than I thought when it comes to buying things for the baby. (Don't worry, I'm not breaking the bank.) I should have known this would happen.....I did this with Ashlee's baby......but it's been so fun buying for a boy! He still doesn't have a name, but we're working on it. It may be a while! The baby moves all the time....and Devin finally can feel little taps! (It's amazing to us how such a tiny foot can create kicks big enough to feel!) Passing the half way point in the pregnancy also brings on some anxiety regarding early delivery. If we were Ash and Rog right now we'd be meeting our baby in less than 7 weeks. We pray every day that this doesn't happen. Please baby boy, life is much better inside where it's safe and warm. Just stay in until 2012 please! (Picture below for Ash....wanting to see all of her maternity clothes on my growing belly. Thanks for the wardrobe Ash.)That's our update for now. Life is good. We are lucky to have so many good things happening in our lives right now. Phoenix is still hot, but we've broken out of the 100 degree weather. I love the fall even with a ninety-degree Halloween!!

The verdict is in!!!!!!

2011-10-06T13:39:00.000-07:00

It's a BOY!!!!!

Going into the ultrasound today my head was spinning. Was it really a boy like I thought? Maybe it was a girl? Maybe there was actually two in there?! Was everthing okay with the baby? How would it look projected onto a TV screen, finally making it's appearance as a little human being instead of just little taps I feel in my stomach throughout the day? Oh how fun it was!! I'll be honest, I was a nervous wreck this morning, but that quickly went away. Why didn't anyone tell me how fun it is to see your child?! See their little hands and feet, see them roll away from the ultrasound tech as she trying to measure everything? And it's such a tiny little thing! Our tech was awesome--very thorough in explaining everything she was looking at. Baby looks completely healthy! We are two very relieved (too medically in-the-know for our own good) parents-to-be!

When she said it was a boy, we both laughed. Neither of us were surprised. And we are in trouble....we have plenty of girl names, but not a single boy name that we've agreed on. We may just have to see him first! And I thought my head was spinning going in.....I'm now on overload! I've thought we'd have a boy all along, but now it's for REAL!! What in the world am I going to do with a boy!!?? Me, from a world of all females, having a little boy who's going to bring home bugs and rocks, and spike his hair, and drive his car too fast, and go on a mission. I'm going to have a daughter-in-law some day! Truly, I am just so excited. The smile has not left my face today. And you should just see Devin. He didn't have a preference either, and he's the one who actually picked our girl name. But now he's going to have a son....his whole world has changed.

After the ultrasound we went straight to Babies R Us to buy something just because we could. We meant to buy one thing, but walked out of the store with way more than we planned! Woops! We went to lunch to celebrate and chat, and call our families.

I'm exactly 20 weeks today, so we are half way there to meeting our little guy! Our lives are going to change so much.....my world especially! Quite a bit more blue and testosterone coming my way! Can't wait for Februrary little baby boy!

Blands in Arizona!

2011-10-03T15:21:00.001-07:00

Yesterday we said goodbye to Scott, Debbie, and our favorite furry Bland as they headed home to Utah. I swear they just got here! Our apartment is feeling awfully empty today. The last time Scott and Debbie came to Arizona was for the White Coat Ceremony right after we moved. We were just getting settled here in Phoenix. My how life has changed since then!

We shopped and ate between Conference Sessions, and stayed up late chatting. Thank you Scott and Debbie for a fabulous weekend--we've been looking forward to it for weeks!

And this is for my sister Whit....wanting to see my growing belly. I felt the baby move a couple weeks ago! Devin can't quite feel it yet, but hopefully he will soon. Our big ULTRASOUND is scheduled for this Thursday!!!!! We are counting down! (Any opinions on gender?)

Four Years

2011-09-12T18:00:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning with my first thought being, "Four years ago right now we were walking out of the Salt Lake Temple."

I have found myself doing this each year---all day long---on our anniversary.
Trying to remember all the details of our wedding day as each hour passes.
Remembering where we were, what we were doing, how we were feeling.
Such a great day. Definitely one of the very best of my life.

Happy Anniversary Dev. Four years down, many more to go. So glad I'm married to you. I love you!

In Loving Memory

2011-09-03T12:15:00.000-07:00

Sharon Parry Rasmussen
1935 ~ 2011

With grace and dignity, Sharon Parry Rasmussen returned to her Heavenly Father and the waiting arms of her loving husband, Richard, her parents, and many loved ones. She passed away on August 28, 2011, surrounded by her devoted children and grandchildren. Sharon was born in Cedar City, Utah, on April 2, l935, to Helen Daynes and Chauncey Parry. As a little girl, she spent many happy summers in Kanab, Utah where her father owned and operated Parry's Lodge that became well known in the movie industry. Sharon had the opportunity to know many famous movie stars of the day and even appeared in some of the films that were made in and around Kanab. When she was just eight years old, her family was in an automobile accident which took the life of her father. Her mother later married Glen M. Ruby who became a wonderful step-father to Sharon and her sisters. Her family moved to Laguna Beach, California where Sharon's passion for water was born. During that time, she spent part of everyday in either the ocean or a swimming pool. When the family moved back to Salt Lake City, Sharon graduated from Granite High School where she made many dear friends. While at Granite, she joined the ski team and became a fierce competitor as well as a beautiful skier which she enjoyed for many years.
Sharon attended the University of Utah where she became a member of Kappa Kappa Gamma Sorority. This is also where she met the love of her life and future husband Richard Rasmussen. They were married in the Salt Lake Temple on June 8, 1954. After Dick completed his tour of duty with the United States Air Force, they returned to the Salt Lake Valley and raised their family. They are the parents of four beautiful and loving children: Paul (Lynette) Rasmussen; Michelle (Doug) Taylor; Lisa (Cort) Firth; and Jodie (Brad) Cahoon. Sharon and Dick also leave a growing legacy of 17 grandchildren and four great-grandchildren who will all miss her more than words can express. She proudly sat in the cheering section of little league, high school, and collegiate baseball, football, and basketball games as well as at soccer, cheerleading, and so many dance recitals. The success of her family is the result of the beautiful, loving, and nurturing home, she and Dick provided for their children. Sharon particularly enjoyed the mountains, especially when her family would gather at their beautiful cabin on the Weber River to participate in fun times. She was always a class act and went the extra mile to make occasions a little more elegant and special. As a faithful member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, she served her Heavenly Father in many callings and had an abiding testimony of the Savior and shared it whenever she could through kind actions and charitable deeds.
Dick suffered a stroke in 1985 and Sharon became his loving care giver until he passed away in 2001. Her health began to falter not long after Dick was gone, and she began to fight the painful effects of Rheumatoid Arthritis, Dementia, and eventually Alzheimer's disease. Through it all, she maintained her beautiful attitude and her happy countenance. Sharon was always a positive influence in the lives of her children and grandchildren. She enjoyed every minute she spent with her family and was loved by all. She enriched the lives of those around her.
Sharon is survived by her four children and their spouses; her grandchildren, and her great grandchildren. She is also survived by her older sister, Marilyn (Blaine) Rasmussen; her younger sister, Louise (Jack) Thomas; her brother-in-law, Arnie (Pat) Ferrin; and her sister-in-law, Maryann (Elmer) Newman. She was preceded in death by her husband, Dick; her parents, Chauncey and Helen Parry; step-father, Glen Ruby; Dick's parents, Leon and Ruth Rasmussen; sister in law, RoLayne Ferrin; nephews, Bard Ferrin and Seth Ferrin. She leaves behind many loving friends including her "Granite High Group" and "The Bridge Club" who will all miss her very much.
A funeral service will be held Wednesday, September 7, 2011, at 12:00 p.m. at the LDS Ward Chapel at 6350 South Rodeo Lane (1500 East). Viewings will be held Tuesday evening, September 6, 2011 from 6:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m. and on Wednesday morning, before the service, from 10:45 a.m. to 11:45 a.m. at the chapel on Rodeo Lane.
The family would like to thank the numerous doctors, nurses and caregivers, especially those at the Sunrise Assisted Living of Sandy, Utah who provided loving care for Sharon during the latter part of her life. Interment will be in the Mountain View Memorial Gardens at 3100 East 7800 South, Salt Lake City, Utah.
http://www.goffmortuary.com/

To our favorite roommate, we love you Grandma! You will be so very missed!!

Birthday Weekend

2011-09-01T15:39:00.000-07:00

For Devin's birthday this year we decided to actually make it feel like a birthday. His birthday conveniently fell on a weekend and during summer break. There was no studying to rush back to, no work the next morning for me (meaning no 5:30 am wake up time!).
We got a hotel in Scottsdale last minute (very cheap, thank you hotwire). We went to dinner and laughed and talked for hours. So much fun. Sorry--one lame picture, taken self-timed on our balcony, with me barely making it back to the chair in time.

Devin spent the rest of the weekend doing what he loves most. He and Jeff came out champions of the Troon North Amateur Golf Challenge. He's been dreaming of holding that trophy all summer!

2011 Troon Challenge National Finals
August 27-28, 2011
In the Net division, Jill Gallagher and Talon Littrell, qualifiers at the Golf Club of Estrella and Jeff Holmes and Devin Bland, qualifiers at Kierland Golf Club, paced the field after day one with first round 65’s. Six other teams were all within two shots of the lead. Day two proved to be a fierce battle until the end with the last few holes proving to be the difference maker. The team of Jeff Holmes and Devin Bland closed strong shooting a second round 61 for a two day total of 126 claiming the 2011 Troon Challenge National Championship in the Net division by three strokes over two other teams.
(troongolf.com)

Congrats guys and happy birthday Dev!

14 weeks

2011-08-29T18:13:00.001-07:00

Slowly but surely getting there! One more month and we find out the gender! I'm still convinced it's a boy. Despite these pictures making me look like I'm carrying kind of high, I think in real life my belly is low. And baby's heartrate is on the lower side (140). My doctor says the heartrate/gender correlation is a myth (he read my mind and pointed that out before I even said anything), but we'll see if my gut is right. I really don't care what it is. Just keep on growing little peanut!!

(4 weeks, 8 weeks, 12 weeks, 14 weeks)

A Kid at Heart

2011-08-26T16:20:00.000-07:00

Six months ago (after our trip to San Diego) we decided a trip to Disneyland needed to be added to our "while we live in Arizona" to-do list. Eric and April were unable to come to San Diego last time, and since they also live just 6 hours from California, this trip was planned with the entire Bland family over Devin's summer break. Nine adults, no children. We had a great time!

Obviously getting pregnant changed plans for me a little. I was limited on the rides I could do, but I decided I didn't want to miss a party. I spent two days in California, and then flew to Salt Lake to spend a few days visiting. (Thanks to both the Blands and Firths for all the entertainment!)

If you ever need Disneyland tour guides, take Eric and April with you. Those guys are pros!! It was the end of August, on a weekend, and we hardly waited in any lines thanks to their fast-pass skills! We got almost every ride in we wanted to in one day!

The day we arrived in California was spent shopping, golfing, and celebrating Whit's birthday (Happy 21st Whit!!). The Blands are just so easy to vacation with. I have found such great friends in my in-laws.

Picture overload coming up. And notice how the boys seem to coordinate their outfits--makes them all look alike that much more! Thanks for a great vacation Blands!!!

Baby update: I'm feeling great. My nausea has disappeared almost entirely. I am days away from being in my second trimester. I must be showing a little.....I had a total stranger at work ask me if I was pregnant. Scrubs must not cover things as well as I thought! (Devin and our families have noticed the changes, but they know me much more than a random stranger.) I am so happy--I love being pregnant. Next doctor's appointment is Monday....excited to hear the heartbeat again. Hope all is well (I'll probably always have that small worry. I'm sure most women do.)

I'll update more later. Devin is on summer break until Monday, today is not a work day, and it's also Devin's birthday. It's a good day to NOT be blogging! :

Happy birthday Dev!! I love you!! (And to Roger.....happy birthday you old man!)

Heartbeat!

2011-08-02T21:05:00.000-07:00

We had our first official doctor's appointment yesterday. I have been so excited, dying to see the baby and hear the heartbeat. I needed that proof that the baby hadn't somehow just gone away. I can't quite figure out why I have worried so much--I've had every pregnancy symptom at this point--but I worried nonetheless. Devin has obviously been the calm one.

We didn't actually get an ultrasound. To say I was upset is only skimming the surface. I was so disappointed at first. I didn't think not having an ultrasound was even a possibility. Apparently this doctor's office doesn't do ultrasounds until 18 weeks. I was crushed. Really crushed.

However, I felt better when my doctor walked in, introduced himself (I've only seen his NP before this week), and said, "Well, first things first....let's find the heartbeat." He used a doppler to find the heartbeat---and found it in about 3 seconds flat! Just ticking away, so fast! There is no better sound than that! I guess ultimately that's all I needed to hear right now because I left not even upset about the ultrasound. And I loved my doctor, which is a big deal. So, now we wait until 18 weeks for our first ultrasound, the big one---gender, heart check, and much more!

As far as pregnancy goes, I feel pretty good. It's amazing what something so tiny can do to your body. That nausea I was not feeling in the beginning kicked in very soon after that first post. I only get sick at night, and it lasts until I go to bed. I have to sleep it off. I am also surprised at the complete exhaustion I feel sometimes. Probably doesn't help that I'm up and down all night to use the bathroom! No complaints here, though....it means all good things. And my clothes are definitely getting tighter. I wouldn't say I'm showing, but there are some pants I definitely can't button without feeling sick!

So that's it for now. Looking forward to the future. That tiny little thing is feeling a little more real to us now.....because we heard a heartbeat!

Summer as of late

2011-07-29T18:27:00.000-07:00

It is no secret that we love to vacation. Any chance we get to go somewhere fun, we take it!! Devin's opportunities for vacations are much less than mine, but every once in a while he gets to squeeze one in.

We all know golf truly makes my husband happy. He has a lot of interests and hobbies, but golf is by far his favorite activity. It relieves all his stresses.

A few weeks ago, with the boards out of the way (hooray!), Dev left for a much deserved vacation to Vegas with his friends and brother.

These pictures were sent to me while he was there. My husband isn't much of a picture taker, so to go to the effort to take a few on his phone and send them to me tells me he really had a good time.

Congrats Dev. You deserve it!!

I also went on a weekend trip (over the 24th of July) to Bear Lake. I love Bear Lake....I grew up going there every summer. We haven't been in nine years, but I have great memories of it. It's hardly changed at all! I wish I could say Dev joined me, but he couldn't. I'm getting a little redundant, aren't I? This time he really was coming.....we had a car rented and everything.....but a mandatory training scheduled for Saturday changed his plans. Once again, it was just me. Still very fun....great trip mom and dad......but you were missed Dev.

(The girls on a "princess" ride. Add Mom, Brooklyn, and Baby B.....you get one slow tube ride!!)

On my mind

2011-07-03T19:58:00.000-07:00

To say I am always thinking about this baby would be the understatement of the year. The fact that we are having a baby has consumed our thoughts. We are going to have a baby! I think I'm still in disbelief that's it's really happening. We are so very excited, so very grateful.

There are a million things we're already thining about, already planning. Future plans, details for delivery, excitment, some worry (naturally). I truly don't think I realized how much I would worry about this pregnancy and just getting the baby here safely. Maybe it's because I'm a nurse? Or a first time mom? Or because I have heard too many stories? I know what most parents would say....."you think you're worried now, just wait for the next 20 years!" I think ultimately it's because I already love this little one. I'm already attached. Pretty sure I was the second I saw "pregnant" show up on the test.

It's so fun to tell people our news. There have been so many great reactions. People are so kind and supportive (thank you!!). We recognize it's very early to be telling people, but we're just too excited. And I'd rather have a lot of support in case anything happens. We may or may not do things differently the second time around.

We found out on Father's Day. Not really planned that way, but it worked out well. I took the test at 5:30 am before going to work. (Yep, had to work on such a great day). My eyes about popped out of my head, and an instant later I was in tears. I waited all 2 seconds before jumping on Devin, pulling him out of a deep sleep, to tell him. He's not a morning person, nor can he be woken up very easy. It took him a long minute to realize what I was waving in his face. Pretty sure he'll laugh at me for that one for years to come.

Telling our families was truly the best. This was not in the plans quite yet (as far as they knew). Made telling them that much better. This is also the first grandbaby on the Bland side. We had flowers delivered to both houses to "Grandma and Grandpa" from "Baby Bland". (Thanks for the help Ash!) So much fun! So many great reactions!

I am not sick at all. In fact, I hardly feel pregnant. Ashlee was sick eventually, so maybe I will be? I watched her very closely her entire pregnancy, knowing it could very easily be my future some day!

What are my work plans? The plan right now is to work full-time as long as I can up until delivery. After the baby comes, I hoping to go PRN. We'll see how it all plays out. I may have to go on light duty a little early......it is no secret that prematurity runs in my family. Combine that with all the heavy lifting I do at work and we have a situation. We'll see how long I end up working the floor.

So am I worried about delivering prematurely since it runs in the family? Yes, yes, yes!! So much more than I'd like to admit. Devin would definitely second that. My doctor is well aware of all our concerns and will be watching me closely. Praying all goes well.

We don't have any names yet. I am not one of those people who has a list of 10 names already thought up. We're throwing a few around, but definitely no decisions yet. We've got plenty of time to think about it.

Boy or girl? Either one! Just healthy--and full-term. I think it's a boy. Devin does too.

Is Devin excited? Yes!! It's funny to see the things he's thinking about compared to what I'm thinking about. Totally different angles....it's been fun to watch and see the differences. He will be such a great dad. He will also hopefully get to help deliver the baby! Pays to be a med student!

I'm so excited to experience pregnancy, the good and the bad. I think it is such a miracle. I wake up every day, and ask myself, "Am I really pregnant? Is this really happening?" I must admit I took 3 more pregnancy tests after that first one, just to make sure nothing had changed overnight. And I still have to force myself not to take just one more!

I can't wait to be a mom. I can't wait to see Devin as a dad. He has asked me at least once a day how the "poppyseed" is. The morning we found out and then the day we told our families--I hope I NEVER forget those feelings.

We get to hear the heartbeat in 4 more weeks....can't wait! The first of many exciting events along the way! Looking forward to the next nine months!! The countdown begins!

(First things first though.....Devin takes his boards in 10 days. Lots of studying going on at our house. Good luck Dev!! You'll do great!!)

A Reason to Celebrate

2011-06-29T20:43:00.000-07:00

My 27th birthday is two days away.
I swear my birthday sneaks up on me every single year.
I'm not really sure what happened to years 21-26, but I kind of wish time would slow down.

This year, however, there is a future birthday on my mind. Not for me, but for a very special member of the family.

A very little member of the family.

OUR little member of the family.

Baby Bland is due February 2012!!!!! We are absolutely thrilled!!!!!!

Spring Break

2011-06-10T15:21:00.000-07:00

The week following the cruise we spent some time with the Blands. (Devin's spring break is two weeks long, and I happily used two weeks worth of PTO to go!) For Memorial Day, we spent the day in Idaho visiting the graves and seeing relatives. The drive to Idaho is beautiful! (Although, I still have a negative attitude towards Idaho....it's the only place I've ever been pulled over!)
Highlight of the week--dinner at Five Alls with Scott, Debbie, and Whit to celebrate the end of Devin's second year of podiatry school (hooray!). What a restaurant! Such a fun atmosphere! And the food is so good--all of it! (And I'm a picky eater.)

We continued in "cruise mode", eating out constantly while visiting. Love vacationing! We are a bad influence! Thanks for a great week Blands....it was so good to see everyone!

As mentioned, Devin is now a THIRD YEAR student! I remember when we first moved down, we looked at the third-year students and thought they walked on water. They were so old, so knowledgeable, and actually somewhat close to graduation (teeny, tiny light at the end of the tunnel).

Devin has one more quarter of classes this summer, then rotations start in October. Finally! He will rotate locally around Arizona for one year, and then start rotating across the country for his fourth and final year. After that? Three years of residency. But we'll just focus on rotations for now. :) Congrats Dev on another successful year!

Cruisin'!!!!!!

2011-06-07T21:36:00.001-07:00

(Freedom of the Seas)

So much fun, so much sun, so much rest and relaxation (much needed!)!!! SO MANY PICTURES!!

We are home from a fabulous cruise to the Eastern Caribbean. My parents were kind enough to take us all on this cruise, the entire family (now a family of 10!!!). I think Devin and I were practically running onto the plane, so ready for this much-anticipated vacation after this last quarter (awful, awful, awful). We joined up with the fam, all the cousins, aunts, and uncles.....and partied for a week! (Missed you Rasmussens!!)

Where to even begin??? I congratulate anyone who can actually get through this post. It's a long one. Have a candybar and diet pepsi on hand. Best of luck.

Arriving in Florida after taking the red-eye flight, we were giddy with excitement to see palm trees and sun. Devin and I, being "Arizonians", thought the heat would be no problem for us (ya know, since we're soooooo practiced at surviving heat after 2 years of living on the face of the sun). That lasted all two seconds until we stepped off the plane and breathed.........hello humidity!
The boys spent the day golfing, trying to avoid running into alligators (seriously!) while the girls hovered near air-conditioning.

The next day, it was cruising time! All 28 people in our group boarded the ship, bought drink cards (all the diet coke you can drink!), and raced to explore the ship.

Shore excursions consisted of 3 stops---Bahamas, St. Thomas, and St. Maarten.

Stop #1: Cocoa Cay, Bahamas

Some parasailed, others snorkeled, we did the Aqua Park. The pictures are self explanatory. I think my nose dripped sea water the rest of the day.

Stop #2: St. Thomas, Virgin Islands

Such a great day. It was overcast, and we were thankful!! Already fried, we were trying to avoid trying to fit 28 people under Brooklyn and Kaden's little baby umbrellas. We went to a beautiful beach called Trunk Bay. It's truly gorgeous. Devin and I actually visited this exact beach on our honeymoon cruise. We spent the entire day sitting on the beach, then raced back to the pier to shop for an hour before getting back on the ship.

Stop #3: St Maarten

Best shore tour yet. We rented ATV's for the day and visited two beaches. One was a private little beach called Pinnel Beach accessible only by water taxi. The next was a must-see......Airport Beach. This beach is literally part of the St. Maarten airport. Only a chain-link fence separates the two. Planes coming in to land (full-size planes!) literally look like they're about to crash into the water next to you. When planes took off, you couldn't stand on the beach anywhere behind it without getting blown off the sandledge. Such a fun day.

A cruise isn't complete without formal nights and endless amounts of food. We took full advantage of all meals that looked even somewhat appetizing. (How do cruise ships not sink with that much food, luggage, and over-fed people?) It'd be a shame if we went even an hour without eating. Heaven forbid we actually got hungry.

Activities included a full-size basketball court (the boys took advantage of both the court and watchin the NBA finals in the hot-tub on the big screen), an ice-skating rink, a movie theater, and dancing. All mixed in with late-night pizza and diet coke.

Future blackmail pictures and videos obtained courtesy of Davis, Tyler, and John.....three of the ship's "sexiest men!" Great entertainment, lots of laughs!

My beautiful mom had a birthday on the cruise. She had to suffer through the entire dining room singing happy birthday thanks to Tyler announcing it. Love you Mom! And to top it off, my beautiful cousin Abby got engaged on the last formal night---completely shocking us all! Congrats Abby and John!

I've summed it up the best I could. Documenting a cruise is just impossible, so you got the reader's digest version. (Ha!!) Thanks again Mom and Dad for a great trip!! We appreciate it more than you know!

Mr and Mrs. Warnock--the wedding day

2011-05-14T17:30:00.000-07:00

What a beautiful day! Rain on the way to the temple had us a little worried, but besides being a little cold it turned out perfect. I love weddings, truly. They are such joyous, happy events. This one did not disappoint. I am a complete sap at weddings, getting completely caught up in every little detail. I'm sad the planning is all over, but now the real fun begins. Weddings are also good reminders of the blessings of an eternal marriage. I am thankful to be married forever to a man I love.

I have hardly any good pictures from their actual wedding day because:

a. my camera died two minutes after they walked out of the temple
b. I'd rather enjoy the party than take pictures
c. they're Davis and Whitney's pictures to post, not mine
d. it's the photographer's job...thank goodness!

Most of these are random pictures taken in a hurry, plus a few from the reception that my mom took. Sadly, I don't have a single one of my own parents (sorry mom). I don't have many pictures of anyone, honestly. Devin is finally in these pictures, hiding tired eyes well considering he'd been up all night studying for his final earlier that morning. Anyone who has better pictures, feel free to send them to me!

Congrats to the beautiful bride and groom. You make a perfect couple. We are excited to have Davis join the family (officially). Love you both!! Can't wait to see you!!

(The camera cut off some of the wedding party. Just imagine trying to fit 13 bridesmaids and 15 groomsmen into one picture!)

Wedding Dinner

2011-05-13T21:46:00.000-07:00

Davis and Whitney's wedding dinner was absolutely gorgeous! It was held at the Montage Resort in Deer Valley. The entire night was amazing. Great food, great atmosphere, beautiful place, and speakers that made me cry. Such a great tribute to Whit and Davis and the life-long romance they've had.

This was less than 20 hours (and counting!) before being officially married. Congrats Davis and Whit! Thank you Warnocks for such a great night!

Rasmussen Family Shower

2011-05-13T21:41:00.000-07:00

Oh, the famous Rasmussen Family shower. I am laughing to myself just thinking about the crazy things that have gone on at showers from prior weddings. Ashlee and I had a double wedding shower for this one.....so much fun!
Engagements are always exciting for our family because we get to throw this family cousins' shower. It's always a party, lots of laughing, always a night to look forward to.
Thank you to the aunts who always host and plan this shower no matter which cousin is getting married. It's an event we never want to miss!
And most importantly, congrats to the bride-to-be!

(sorry cousins, we forgot to get a group shot!)

Utah Alumni

2011-05-13T21:26:00.000-07:00

With a lot of Utah pride, we watched Whitney graduate from the University of Utah on Friday. It's a big deal! I got teary as soon as the commencement music started playing. (Imagine how I'll be at Devin's graduation ceremony some day!)

As fellow Utah alumni, most of the family was there to watch and cheer her on as she walked. Congrats Whit!! (Congrats also to Whit's friend Tara and our cousin Mackenzie--the cute girls pictured below.)

(Whit and Kenzie)

(Whitney, Diane (Whit's mother-in-law), Tara)

(proud family)

(future UTE....sorry Roger)

(extended Ute family with one unhappy Cougar in the back...sorry Russ)

Congrats Whit and Go UTES!!!

Beta Lunch

2011-05-13T21:19:00.000-07:00

My trip started with this little get-together. Good way to start an already fun week....seeing some of my favorite people!

My how times have changed! We used to get together with all the Beta girls to talk about the boys we were dating, jobs, school graduation, and Beta activities. That progressed to lunches planned between weddings, missions, and real-life jobs. Now we show up and ask for high chairs.....one between each girl!

Love the Beta girls. Due to living in different states, some of us will go a year without actually seeing one another face to face. And sometimes the group is really small. Still, it's like we met for lunch just last week.

Thank you for your friendship girls (including those who couldn't make it)! Can't wait for the next get-together!!

The Wedding!!

2011-05-13T20:58:00.000-07:00

The wedding has come and gone. They're officially married and on their honeymoon! We all have returned to real life and responsibility while they get to vacation in Hawaii. (so jealous)

It was a great week. Lots of events to attend, lots of celebrating. Many posts coming.....and sadly I will point out Devin's absence in most of them now. Once again, life happened, schedules could not be rearranged, so Devin was able to attend the reception only. He was in Salt Lake City for a grand total of 20 hours, landing 2 hours before the reception started and flying out first thing the next morning. I cried when we realized this would be the case. A lot, actually. Thank you to my husband who sacrifices so much for our future.

Congrats to the bride and groom.....it was a magical wedding! We love you both!!

2011-04-23T20:45:00.001-07:00

This special item came in the mail this week. FINALLY! I've been checking the mail daily! It is now hanging proudly on our fridge, smack dab in the middle. I walk by it and smile every time. I sometimes get teary, too---can't help it. (How in the world am I going to keep it together to speak at their wedding dinner?!) We're so happy for you Whit and Davis.....three very short weeks left!!!

I was in Salt Lake recently for a quick visit and was lucky enough to see Callie go to junior prom with her best friend. I've never seen Callie go to a high school dance (she started high school after we moved, and will graduate before we move back). You looked absolutely beautiful Callie! And Devin and I love AJ!! :)

As for my own husband, some day in the hopefully near future I'll get him back! This quarter ends in 4 weeks. Holy cow it's felt incredibly long. We are always grateful for the opportunity to be here, but when the May break comes we'll definitely be ready!! As always, I love you Dev and am beyond proud of all you've done.

That pretty much sums it up for now. It's heating up (quickly!). Devin's tan lines are starting to look permanently tatooed on his feet, and our air conditioner is on full-time. And happy birthday this week to my favorite April Bland.....we miss you guys!

ONE very special birthday

2011-04-14T21:14:00.001-07:00

Happy birthday today to my favorite niece! A monumental day to say the least. I still get anxious sometimes thinking about this day one year ago. So glad you're healthy, happy, and bonus---absolutely adorable.

We're all addicted to you.....we melt into jibberish and high-pitched sounds the second we see you. Devin included. We get nothing done, just watching you be you. We wouldn't have it any other way.

I love you like you are my own!! Happy birthday Brooklyn!!

(still my favorite picture of her)

Firth & Co comes to Arizona!

2011-03-28T13:07:00.000-07:00

First and foremost, this visit was not complete without Callie. We tried our best to plan this visit around her, but she is so busy! There truly wasn't a good time for her to come. It wasn't the same without you Callie! You were missed!!

Ashlee and the baby came to visit first. Brooklyn has changed quite a bit in the three months since I've seen her. She's learned some new tricks, new noises, and definitely loves her mom! There was no question that she could tell us apart.......weird that my sister has a little "momma's girl" now. We had so much fun.....thank you Roger for letting us borrow your girls for an entire week!

(Lunch with Abby. Three of my favorite girls in one place!)

Mom and Whit flew in a few days later. Our apartment was suddenly chuck full of blondes, luggage, and baby supplies. Even better, Devin was able to join in on some of the fun. I hate it that he misses out on so much....I appreciate you Dev! Doing what girls love to do......lay by the pool. (I'm not sure why it's so fun to just lay in the sun and sweat.) Brooklyn liked the water....oh she's cute!

Taking the girls to church. I couldn't wait to introduce them to my friends....I love my ward! My dad needed to come into town for business this month, so he flew in the last night of their visit. We all went to dinner (missing Devin). Thanks for visiting fam! Should we make this an annual visit every March??

Excited to see this face!

2011-03-14T17:11:00.000-07:00

The fam is coming to visit. Can't even wait! They haven't been here since last year at almost this exact time.

Weird to think Brooklyn was still referred to as "the baby" at that point in time. (The baby I thought I'd be going to meet three months later, not four weeks later.) Devin and I both sat in awe looking at Ashlee's belly, feeling the baby kick. I hadn't seen Ashlee really pregnant....hardly even showing when I saw her last. That baby was real to me for the first time on that trip.

Ash delivered 3 weeks after visiting. It feels like all that just happened, yet Brooklyn's birthday is a month from today! Time absolutely flies. So glad she's almost a year old and healthy!

Can't wait to see you guys!! Hurry and get here!!

San Diego

2011-03-10T16:45:00.000-08:00

I've visited San Diego a lot with my extended family. We make it a family trip every other summer, each year the group getting bigger and bigger as people get married and have kids. It's such a fun trip--truly, we all look forward to it. (Thanks Mom and Dad for always taking us!)

Knowing San Diego was so close to Arizona, Devin and I hoped to plan to a trip ourselves at some point while we live here. We decided spring break would be the perfect time since there usually isn't anything big planned in March. We invited our families, and hoped to meet everyone there!!
We didn't go with any big plans in mind because the weather is so unpredictable in March. In the back of my mind I knew I'd probably get more sun in Phoenix than San Diego! I had some suggestions in case we needed ideas, but for the most part we went with the flow.

Devin and I got there a few hours early....we got up REALLY early and drove, not wanting to waste a day driving. We spent a few hours by ourselves, walking around and checking out all the old spots we'd vacationed at in summers past. (picture below is taken in the exact same spot the picture on top of our blog is taken). The Blands flew in that afternoon, and the vacation was officially started!

We did a little bit of everything.....really the only thing we didn't do was go to the beach. (I was disappointed, but really, it was freezing.) We walked the pier, shopped, golfed, laid by the pool the only sunny morning, rented bikes, and went to Knottsberry Farm. The trip went by way too fast---don't they all? Thank you to my in-laws for coming.....you made the trip great!

Picture overload coming up.......

Spring Break

2011-03-08T16:47:00.000-08:00

We just home from a great week in San Diego. This was a must-do item on our "while we live in Arizona" list because the driving distance is so short (under 6 hours).

We knew with the right amount of planning and budgeting we could make it work.

We made it an open invite to any family members who were able to come, so most of the Blands joined us. (Sorry you couldn't come Firth fam! We missed you!! Guess we'll have to plan another trip!)

Such a fun trip. I love to vacation. Uninterrupted husband time is always nice too. I'll post pictures later, but for now I have a lot of laundry to do and a parking ticket to dispute. (Thank you San Diego County!!)

The Bodester

2011-02-15T10:51:00.000-08:00

Bode passed away today. There is an ache in my chest knowing he's gone, just like that. It feels like we've lost a member of the family.......and ya know what? We have.

Long story short, Bode had a blood disease called IMHA, something fairly common to dogs. It's basically an autoimmune disease that hits suddenly, sometimes with no triggger, and makes the body turn on itself. The end result is severe anemia and a bunch of other associated side effects. If caught quickly enough, a blood transfusion and steroids can save them. Bode was actually only ranked as beng in the "middle" of the progression, so we did catch it quickly enough. He could have survived. He got a transfusion a week ago, and we've been waiting for him to get better. He went back into the vet today because he just wasn't snapping out of it, and passed while on the xray table. The vet said he developed a blood clot over the weekend that went to his lung, which is ultimately fatal in dogs. There was nothing anyone could have done, whether we knew he had the clot or not.

So, we're all very teary today. I've gotten nothing done. Of course losing a family pet is inevitable, but my heart still hurts. Bode was the cutest dog........he had a very human-like personality. He brought so much joy to our family. I swear he was my mom's favorite child--pretty sure she wouldn't deny that, either. He will be missed, so much.

I also need to wish my cute husband Happy Valentine's Day. It's been a busy two days, and yesterday felt like anything but a holiday. Today was kind of the icing on the cake. He just hugged me and let me cry over my puppy in Costco. Love you Dev!!

We love you Bode!!

Sedona Marathon 2011

2011-02-13T15:29:00.000-08:00

Mark it off the bucket list!! The marathon is done!

Never in a million years did I ever think I would run a full marathon. I used to watch my sister Whitney run half-marathons, think it was really cool, get all inspired to do one, and then completely change my mind after one awful mile of running around the block. Like, really awful. Let’s face it, I am not a runner. And guess what? I'm still not. Yep, marathon complete, and I still wouldn't qualify myself as a runner. I have done one half-marathon in my life (and it ended up being really fun), but I never thought I’d double the distance one day! So thank you to Abby for suggesting we sign up for this crazy event….that day at the pool, all relaxed and sunburned, I had no idea what we were in for, but I’m so glad we did it!

About 6 weeks before race day, Abby and I attempted to estimate how many miles we had run while training. Oh how I wish we had actually kept track! We’re thinking it was somewhere around 200 miles together and at least 30 miles separately. My legs hurt thinking about it now! After months of dark sleepy morning runs (and a lot of talking to make the time go by quickly!), we all made it to race day! (As a side note, Devin went running maybe 5 times before showing up for his race….and did just fine! Somehow that isn't fair.)

Sedona is about 2 hours from Phoenix, so we stayed overnight on Friday. We got up there around noon, picked up our race packets, and spent the rest of the day walking through town with the Valenzuelas. We attempted to carb load at dinner that night, but I really was too nervous to eat as much as I wanted to.

We tucked in early, got up while it was still dark, and headed over to the Start area. We finally got to see the Lyons too.....Cara and Steve were both running, but are much more experienced runners!

It was freezing cold while we waited. Cold weather combined with a lot of nerves makes for a lot of shivering---I couldn't relax. I needed to just get on the trail. They finally called for all the full marathon runners to line up (which Abby and I didn't actually hear, so we started way behind everyone!) and were off!!

To describe the next 26 miles is just impossible, so I won't. Let's just say it was absolutely gorgeous, and probably the hardest thing physically I've ever done.

Completing a marathon is an emotional experience. You can't help but get teary when you cross the finish line, with both friends and complete strangers cheering you on. You're physically and mentally exhausted, yet excited at the same time. I don't think people realize how much time and effort goes into training for such a long distance.....I know I sure didn't. Seeing the end in sight just completely breaks you emotionally.

Marathon Stats:

Total marathon distance: 26.2 miles
Total half-marathon distance (Devin): 13.1 miles

Longest distance run prior to the race: 19 miles

High/Low Temperature on race day: 28 to start, 65 to finish. Bad sun tan lines now. My back and nose may blister.

Was it hard? Yes. Harder than I expected. They weren't kidding about those hills!!

Was it worth it? Yes for sure.

Did you "hit a wall"? I'd say yes....at mile 13.5 ( just past the turn-around point) and again at mile 22. There may have been a few tears at mile 22.

Did I lose any weight while training? No. Darn.

Would I do it again (the big question!)??? On our 19 mile run day and again about mile 23 on race day, I thought to myself, “I will NEVER do this again.” Two seconds past the finish line and then sitting comfortably in the car.......I just might do it again someday!!

Today I am hobbling like an old woman. My quads are so sore I had to go backwards down the stairs this morning to go to church. All the soreness is worth it though. Now having slept off some of the aches and pains, I really think I would like to do another marathon someday....just a flatter one.....and see if my time improves.

For our families, here's pictures from our run. I even included a video. (Rare...I hate seeing myself on video!) Missed you guys!

View from our hotel

Waiting for the shotgun

And we're off! 5 feet completed, 26 more miles to go!
You can see us....barely. Heading down the hill that would about kill us coming back up at the Finish Line.
The scenery
Finish is in sight!!

Tears.....

Thanks again Abby! Next "running day" we're sleeping in and hitting the pool instead!!

Odds and Ends

2011-02-07T20:43:00.000-08:00

I feel like I have been waiting forever for February to get here! Waiting and waiting, watching the calendar, counting down the weeks, then days. Because the marathon is in February! Six months of training gone by......now it's on Saturday! Holy cow!! Now I'm kind of dragging my feet, wishing we had a little more time. Can I really do this?? I heard there's some nasty hills in Sedona that have made prior runners cry. Fabulous. I also heard that for our first marathon, we kind of picked a difficult one. Too late now! Wish us luck!! I'm so excited!!

With that being said, I feel like all I have done for the last few weeks is work and run. That's it. Spending all my time in scrubs or running clothes. Very flattering, let me tell you. (Although I was happy to have a red pen exlode in pocket today.....add a little Utah red to my BYU navy blue scrubs!) Devin of course has spent quite a bit of time in the Midwestern library while Abby and I run from one end of the valley to the other gossiping (just kidding!).

We found out the date of Dev's 2 year boards (July 13)....can't even wait for it to get here! Boards completed means rotations begin and classes and late night/all weekend studying are over for the most part. I'm so ready, and I know Devin is!!! Does that make me sound ungrateful? Hopefully not, but we can't help but be excited for a change.

We got released from nursery a few weeks ago. I loved the kids, but I'm so excited to be back in Relief Society! Working some Sundays and being in nursery made it so I've rarely been to Relief Society in the last year. I find myself addressing the girls as "so-and-so's mom".....time to re-learn everyone's names and get a little more involved in the ward! It's really a great ward.

On a sad note, my family's dog is sick. Cute Bode. (He really has the cutest face!!) He's really sick....might not make it actually. I'm devastated. Cried myself to sleep last night. I'm hoping that by posting this all the dog lovers in the world who understand how much a dog becomes a member of your family will pray for him. I didn't grow up with a dog.....we got him when I was in high school. But man do we love him!

Finally, I want to wish my mother-in-law a very happy birthday (tomorrow!!). I still think I got the best in-laws. Love you Debbie!! Can't wait to see you guys in March!

Bland Snowbirds

2011-01-16T22:52:00.000-08:00

Welcome to our neck of the woods Griff and Kristin!!

This past week we were lucky enough to have our first visitors of the new year. Griffin and Kristen came to visit for almost a full week!! We had so much fun showing them around town, eating out, and having a sleepover every night!

The week started off with a visit to West Gate in Peoria. It's a large district full of restaurants, shopping, and the University of Arizona stadium (where the National Championship football game was just held.) We ate dinner at a restaurant called Margaritaville directly across from the stadium.

Day two consisted of a little bit of pool time (of course! our claim to fame!), shopping, and a Phoenix Suns game! I have to laugh.....Devin and I have been "meaning" to go to a Suns game for a year and a half now. Talk about being a little behind! Life keeps us a little busy I guess! Fortunately, having company forces us to get out and do things. So please, come visit! We'll entertain you and us at the same time!

Friday night we decided to skip the restaurant scene and BBQ by the pool instead. Steaks, tin foil dinners, the whole nine yards! There is nothing better than that BBQ smell!
Thank you Griff and Kristin.....for taking time out of your schedules to squish into our little apartment, pretend like you had all the room in the world, and entertain us! It went way too fast!

Finishing up 2010

2010-12-31T21:05:00.001-08:00

We all remember when the Utes played in the Fiesta Bowl in 2005. Great season, great team, great Bowl Game. Totally worth going to watch them play in Arizona. Little did I know then, cheering on the Utes in the ASU Stadium---not married to Devin yet, hadn't even met him for that matter---that some day Arizona would be my home. Crazy.

This year we finished up 2010 watching the Utes play again, this time in the Vegas Bowl, this time on TV. Driving to Las Vegas sure was tempting, but we wimped out. And let's be honest, it was a less than enthusiastic showing, but we still bleed red.

To start the new year, while I worked, Devin rang in 2011 at the Fiesta Bowl in the Cardinals stadium....in person!

With the Utes joining the PAC 10, next year Utah will play ASU November 5th here in Phoenix! (We've already checked the schedule) We'll definitely be making plans to go to the game.....go Utes!

Christmas in Utah

2010-12-31T20:31:00.000-08:00

This year we were lucky to be able to spend the holidays with our families........considering it was my turn to work Christmas at the hospital. (Can't exactly hop on a plane after my shift and tell them to step on it!) I was planning on working, but didn't get scheduled. Devin was as pleasantly surprised as I was! An Arizona Christmas just the two of us would have been fun, but we weren't going to question a good thing when the schedule came out!

In regards to celebrating the season, things were no different than years past. Thank goodness for great traditions! Plenty of great food, parties, fun, and snow (almost didn't make it back home to Arizona thanks to the storm!) Thank you again to our families for everything. It was a great visit!

(lacking some pictures I really wanted......to be added some day when I get them from those who have them.)

Almost Christmas

2010-12-21T14:37:00.000-08:00

Last week Devin and I got a phone call late Tuesday night from my Dad. When I asked what he was doing he responded, "I'm standing in the Sky Harbor airport." For about two seconds I had to actually think about where he was.........really, I was silent on the phone for a minute.......because Sky Harbor airport is MY airport! I started laughing when it clicked. He's was here on business again this past week and decided to surprise us that he was coming! I had no clue!! We always love visitors, especially unexpected ones right before Christmas!!

He was here for five days (2 of which he spent staying with us), and we had a blast. Unfortunately, I had to work most of the time he was here, so I feel like I hardly saw him. And I'm a bad daughter and didn't take a single picture. We still appreciated the visit Dad!!

Saturday I left Dad to fend for himself for a couple hours and went to an Ornament Exchange party. A cute girl in my ward hosts this party, and it is so fun! Intimidating for those of us who don't have a domestic bone in their body, but still very fun. I just prayed they would unwrap my ornament really fast, give me the expected sypmpathy oohs and aahs, and move on. (Small detail....the ornaments have to be homemade.) Each girl has to bring an ornament for the other guests. There are prizes to give, great food, and a lot of creativity! I am so NOT crafty. And I'm not being humble, either. These girls are so unbelievably creative and crafty, and I truly seriously am not. It's like Martha Stewart meets Walmart. My lack of crafting skills aside, the best part is that you get to go home with 15 new ornaments for your tree. I even put my own homemade ornaments on our tree.

Thanks Angel for throwing another great party! I'm already putting my thinking cap on for next year....cause it's gonna take me that long to come up with something!

(Ornament on the left is from last year--spraypainted cactus cookie cutter. Ornament on the right is this year's--pine cone turned "Christmas pine tree".)
And now here we are beginning "Christmas week". I feel like I just barely put up my tree! So much hustle and bustle and excitement, and it's over so fast! It is truly one of the best times of the year. Like so many, it is probably my favorite.

(Our Christmas card this year. Don't mind how awful the card is....we picked the ugliest one we could find at Costco, but it was Arizona appropriate. And like last year, we only sent it to family and a few friends. I feel weird sending out Chrismas cards with just the two of us in it. But I love getting them...wish I'd get enough to cover my entire fridge!!)

Have a very Merry Christmas!!!

Mesa Temple Christmas Lights

2010-12-05T16:42:00.000-08:00

Anyone from Utah knows visiting the Temple Square Christmas lights is a must each December. It's an unwritten tradition. They're beautiful......even when it's freezing. I've always loved going!!

The Mesa Temple does it's own version of holiday Christmas lights. We hopped in the car with Gabe and Abby this weekend and went to check it out. It's a smaller version, but just as pretty. We ate at Cafe Rio after......an untentional "Utah" night.......but it was just down the street! Thanks for a fun night guys--let's go again next year!

Deck the Halls....and water the lawn.

2010-12-04T21:17:00.000-08:00

Christmas is upon us once again here in Phoenix. I can't believe we're coming up on Christmas number two! TWO! I've said it before, I'll say it again, time is flying.

That being said, we haven't quite gotten used to the idea of a snow-less Christmas.....regardless of it being our second. We've pulled out the Christmas decorations, put up the tree, burn Christmas scented candles every night, yet we walk through sprinklers on the lawn each morning. Kind of odd, but our apartment is as festive as we could make it! It's still Christmas without snowflakes outside!

In addition to our Christmas decorating and school being back in full-swing, we've had quite the week of events.

--Pleasant surprise number one:
The Zarbocks came to visit us! Okay, they really came to see the 49'ers play the Cardinals, but I crashed their shopping/lunch party anyway. Thanks for lunch guys!

--Surprise number two: Jeff got a girlfriend. Devin has competition now. Meet Loddy.......

We find every excuse we can to go over and visit her!

--And surprise number three........... Whit and Davis are finally engaged!! They are quite the love story, one that was years and years in the making. A true fairy tale. This is the picture message sent to me at work on Thursday. I opened it expecting an ugly face from Whitney telling me she misses me (I get those a lot). This picture floored me......ran to the breakroom to have myself a good cry. Congrats Whit and Davis!!!! So so so happy for you!!!

Happy holidays!!! The countdown to Christmas begins!!!!

Home away from Home

2010-12-01T21:56:00.000-08:00

We're home from Utah. It was great to see family and friends again, to celebrate Thanksgiving together.....and to see snow! There's nothing quite like snow to get you in the Christmas spirit (even though Thanksgiving usually isn't over yet!).

I'm grateful Devin and I could spend the week together. I've missed him. Not complaining, just commenting. And it's been a while since we've actually traveled together. It was great!

The week went way too fast. But of course, the more you try to dig in your heels and make the dreaded "return to life" day come slower, the faster it goes.

As always, thank you to our families for all you do for us.
It was a great week.
Oh, and GO UTES!!!!!!!!

**Sidenote**
-I never get enough pictures with the Blands. That needs to change.
-I wasn't actually in town for Thanksgiving Day. Had to work all weekend. I made Devin stay in Utah despite his persistant offers to come home early---why sit home in an empty apartment all weekend?? For the record, I'm positive Debbie's turkey was better than the hospital turkey I ate. (I'm thankful for my job despite the hospital being open 24/7 year round. I don't have to work Christmas though....a very undeserved blessing, but appreciated nonetheless!)
-The Gardner baby is loved.....we pretty much just rotate her around and take pictures. See below. And I post way too many of her considering she's not my child.
-Devin took this first picture. I think he's a better photographer than me.

Seventeen Today!!!!

2010-11-30T21:31:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday today to my BEAUTIFUL sister Callie!!! If only I could be as fun and beautiful as you.....inside and out!! Hope you're birthday was great! Love you!!!

Officially On Break!

2010-11-12T18:56:00.000-08:00

You know it's finals week when your husband comes home and says, "Ya know, I bet the Lord is burned out this week." I laughed a GOOD belly laugh with that one. Fortunately, his statement is not true, but I'm sure every student and his wife prayed a lot this week!! We were all counting down to today!

I found a "sleep tracker" on the fridge. (Devin's version of "doodling" while studying I think?) I've always known he can run on no sleep (I learned that the hard way.....had mono twice in the first 2 years of knowing him.) But an average of 3 hours a night this week really shows how little he sleeps when life keeps him busy. And he functions just fine!

But, it's over!! Another quarter down, another finals week completed. Devin and Jeff will make their way to Salt Lake together this weekend, making pit stops in Vegas and St George. I will fly out to meet Devin the middle of next week after work. (Totally fair considering how much I travel without him!) Congrats Devin and classmates on another successful quarter! Looking forward to a well-deserved Thanksgiving Break!

Midwestern Students

2010-11-03T17:02:00.000-07:00

(this year's t-shirts)

As most people know by now, our identities are currently founded in the title of "Midwestern Student". It is safe to say our lives revolve around this school. Completely and entirely. And you know what? We're totally okay with that.

There are days it feels we've been living this life forever, and that it will continue for years. Other days, we catch glimpses of the life we're actually working toward.....however vague and fuzzy it may be. I'm amazed at how fast the time is already going.

Some day I will be truly sad to see our time here end. Yes, there are days it's so hard---in so many different aspects. Med school sure can bring you to your knees. But I know this will be a defining part of our life together, a time we'll look back on and smile. We may even miss it!

We're genuinely happy living as students. At least I know I am. And even on Devin's worst days, I know without a doubt he's happy. We're working hard, Devin especially. I don't think I express enough on this blog how much I appreciate him and everything he does.

I'd say this is a life we can be proud of.